Beer and Other Bruises
by Kazamigorical
Summary: Sam is worried about Dean who is back into drinking too much. After hustling the wrong people, Dean is beaten up and Sam rushes to take care of his brother and then his alcoholism. Starts off aggressive but turns into Protection / Angst later on
1. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 1

**A big thank you to Magoghair and Kristyd who through their stories & conversations on twitter, has shown me I enjoy hurt/sick Dean and protective Sam. I hope you do too. **

**Warning: Cussing/Swearing in this one. The 'F' word features.**

**Violence/Angst/Conflict**

**Beer and Other Bruises**

**Chapter 1**

Sam woke up to Dean crashing his way through the door. Knowing he was drunk out of his mind, Sam rolled over to his side desperate to get back to sleep. This was nothing new. Every other night for the past month and a half, Dean was out drinking until all hours, back to picking up loose women and getting relatively no sleep.

Sam was getting worried. It had been seven months since they had reunited, since Dean had left Lisa and Ben to go back to his life on the road. He swore that this time, they would take it easier, not go after things so big, pull it back and stay on top. But since then all they were doing was going back to the way they were, getting over burdened and overwhelmed with the stresses of the job.

Sam could see the affect it was beginning to have on his brother. Sleepless nights, mood swings, bottling things up and drinking way too much way too often. When they started back on the hunt Dean was rejuvenated and revitalized, now he was just plain exhausted and out of control all over again. It was becoming a problem and Sam knew it was time to kick an action plan into gear.

But that would be tomorrow.

Tonight he wanted to sleep.

'Sam.' Dean's voice sounded different; husky, shallow. Sam's eyes snapped open. He spun around and switched on the lamp hoping to see his brother flopped on top of his bed like usual but instead saw him slumped over on the floor near the door.

Without a second's hesitation Sam ripped the blankets from himself and bolted over to where Dean had fallen, only then noticing the blood coming from his nose and lips and the bruises forming on his cheeks, jaw and arms.

'What the hell happened?' Sam asked checking over his body. His heart felt like it was in his throat.

'Hustled some pool.' Dean mumbled grabbing hold of Sam's upper arm and trying to lift himself up. 'Made five hundred bucks. '

'Oh my God. Dean!'

Sam helped his brother over to his bed and made sure his back was against the head board. Rushing to the tap to get a glass of water, he checked over his shoulder to make sure Dean was still upright. So far so good. Hangovers were not uncommon in Dean's world and either were aspirin. Sam grabbed the packet of pills from the table and broke out three.

'Here, take these.'

'I'm okay.' He could hardly open his mouth to speak.

'Dude, seriously. Take these. You are anything but okay.'

'Said I'm okay.' Dean grumbled lifting his arm high enough to push Sam's away. Lightly. He was weak. Weak and hurt and battered.

'Who the hell did this to you?' Sam felt his anger rising. He had learnt to control it since his escape and had been proud of himself for it, but now he was feeling like it was getting the better of him and every time he looked at another mark on his brother's body, it was getting worse.

'Just want to sleep.' Dean said putting the tablet to his mouth and trying to take a sip from the glass. Water flooded back out and he spat the tablet out onto his t-shirt.

Picking it off him, Sam smashed it up between his fingers and emptied it into the glass, along with another two. 'This is going to taste like crap but you need to drink it anyway.'

It took over five long minutes to get it down, with Sam continuously putting the glass to Dean's mouth and Dean more than not pushing it away. 'Just sip it.' Sam said flustered. He had something to do and something to do quickly.

Once taken, Sam went to work trying to undress his reluctant and uncooperative brother. Eventually and finally, his shoes, socks and jeans were off and Sam had him relatively comfortable under the covers.

'Dean listen to me. Dean. Are you listening to me?'

'Mm.' He groaned wanting to sleep, all he wanted to do was sleep this pain away.

'Who did this to you?'

Instead of answering, he closed his eyes and slowly turned onto his side, facing away from Sam. With a nod, Sam said; 'Dean, your phone is right here okay? Listen to me. Dean. Right here on the bedside table. You call me if you need me. Okay?' Silence filled the air. 'Okay?' Nothing.

After a nod, Sam pulled on some jeans and shoes, grabbed the keys and started on his mission. These guys were going down. Whoever they were they were going DOWN! He did a quick calculation in his head. He figured two minute drive, ten minutes to kick some heads in and break some bones and two minutes to drive back. Fourteen minutes. Dean would be fine alone for fourteen minutes. Yes.

Sam had only been to the bar Dean had been frequenting a couple of times with him. He found it to be a nice little intimate bar. Quiet, peaceful, pleasant. That was soon going to change.

Stepping in, he did a quick head check, nothing seemed out of place, no one seemed like a first class mother-fucker, so he moved straight to the bar man.

'What can I get you?' the young guy asked cheerfully.

'You can tell me who the fuck I have to kill around here?'

To say the bar man was shocked would be an understatement. Poor guy just looked at him like he hoped Sam had just spoken in another language. 'I'm sorry?'

'I want you to tell me who the fuckers are that beat my brother to a fucking pulp. …Please.' He added for politeness sake. 'Because I am going to tear them apart.'

'Sir, you really can't be saying things like that.'

With a thump on the bench, Sam leaned in closer into the guy, 'I can say whatever I Goddamn want to say. Now, just tell me…..who the fuck was it?'

'That guy deserved exactly what he got.' Stated a lone drinker on the other side of the bar. Within an instant Sam was in his face, grabbing hold of his collar and saying, 'So it's you I have to kill?'

'Take it easy. I didn't touch the guy.' He was drunk and old and weak and probably telling the truth.

'So tell me who did.' With everything in him, Sam was trying to control himself. He was fully aware once he laid eyes on the dudes who did this he would completely lose it but until then he had to keep it together.

'Some guys.'

'More information.'

'Those guys.' He smugly pointed to a group of tattooed bikers outside in the beer garden. Sam let him go and turned in their direction, 'Good luck with that.' The man smirked.

'I don't need luck.' Sam stated as he felt every muscle flex. Bikers or not, these guys were history.

'Dude, you don't know who you're messing with.' He laughed.

''Dude, you don't know who they messed with.' Sam called back without turning his head. Once he had made his way through the tables and had successfully ignored the curious stares of the other patrons, he slammed open the glass door causing it to fly back into the brick wall outside. If the force of the door banging open didn't grab their attention the sound of the shattering glass most certainly did.

'What the fuck?' said the biggest, baldest biker quite possibly of all time as he jumped up from the table he was sitting on. If Sam was in any other frame of mind, he would laugh. Of all the guys Dean, you picked these to hustle? But right then he wasn't thinking that, he was just thinking of their blood smeared across the walls.

'Who the fuck are you and what the fuck is your problem?' The macho man ordered racing over to Sam. Just like a movie, his mates began to drop their beers and back up their mate. There were only four of them, five including Captain Fuckass. Easy.

'My problem-'Sam snarled shoving Capt F against the wall with all his force 'Is that you messed with my brother you fucking asshole motherfucker!'

By the time Capt F had smashed his bottle against the table to give himself an instant weapon; Sam had punched him twice in the face and another time in the gut. Sam didn't expect him to even feel it. This guy was huge and solid and pissed, but nevertheless he lost his footing and fell back into one of his idiot mates. Sam took the quick opportunity to lunge at the next one coming at him and flung him across the room, crashing him into tables that broke under the force. Back to Capt F, he ripped the cut bottle from his hand and threw it over the other side of the room. Weapons between fighting men created an unfair advantage. He wasn't down for that, he was though, down for ripping their unpretty heads from their unpretty bodies with his bare hands.

Taking two on at a time was a challenge, he was getting thumped himself, especially when number three decided to join in the fun, but ignoring the pain, ignoring what others would feel was a losing battle, he put his trained fighting skills into action. Focused on the image of Dean broken and beat-up in their shady Motel room alone gave him the drive to hurry this thing up. It was these guys that did that to him, it was these guys that showed his brother no mercy, no shame and no fairness.

As he punched and pummeled and threw bodies around like they were basket balls, he wondered if Cas could cure Dean. You know like he had several times before. That would be good if he could. It was hard to contact Cas nowadays though. He only seemed to appear when he wanted to and not often when they called. He was annoying like that lately. Still Sam was sure Cas would want to heal him. Of course Cas would want to heal him, Cas always wanted to heal him. Yes, that was his next plan and it was a good plan. Contact Cas and make Dean okay again. Perfect.

Okay.

Done.

Five bodies down.

Good.

With a satisfied huff, Sam turned on his heels, gave the guy at the bar a parting nod, the stunned barman a wave and moved outside to the car park.

There the Impala sat waiting for him to take him back to the Motel. Lucky Dean was asleep; he didn't take lightly to Sam taking off in her without him knowing.

He kept an eye open for a possible onslaught as he turned the ignition. He was aware that at any time, these pricks could wake up and pick up that broken bottle and come after him to slice his face apart. They were that type.

The Impala didn't roar to life like Sam expected her to; instead she gave a rumble and shut down. With a frown, he tried again. This time nothing, not even the rumble he hated to hear just a second ago.

'Oh come on! ' Trying again, he felt sick at what he didn't hear. Nothing was not a good sound when it came to a car that needed to start and quick. 'Nono, do not do this to me! Please!'

Time and time again he was met with the same silence.

'Oh you have got to be kidding me! Come on! Please, come on.' Sure he was a little concerned about five pissed and hurting bikies coming to life, but he was fucking freaking out about his brother and what he was going to do to him if he knew he'd killed his baby.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. He should have walked. Why didn't he walk? Dean was going to kill him.

K-I-L-L H-I-M!

Knowing not a damn thing about cars but knowing damn well he couldn't ask anyone in there for help, Sam did the only thing he could do.

Locked her up and ran.


	2. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The Impala sat heavily on Sam's mind as he quietly stepped back into their Motel room and locked the door behind him, but it was Dean that was his first priority. Rushing over to his bed, he was relieved to see him sound asleep. Doing a quick hand check of his forehead, he grabbed the remote control and turned the heater off. It was cold but Dean was definitely hot.

More than anything he hated seeing his brother like this. Dean had freed one of his arms in his sleep and it lay bruised and marked over his sheet, his grazed hand resting near his face on the pillow. No matter what Sam had done to those guys, nothing, absolutely nothing could stop the pain this sight gave him.

There was nothing worse for Sam than seeing his brother like this. Nothing.

Keeping his eyes on Dean, he sat on the edge of his own bed and pulled his phone out of the front pocket of his jeans. First number he called was Cas's. It was a long shot; Cas was hardly ever reachable by phone anymore and not surprisingly, again, it rung out.

'Come on Cas.' He whispered aloud as he tried again. 'Not the time to play hard to get.' The plan seemed so much more reachable back when he was kicking ass. No luck now though; no voicemail and so no miracle heal. Damn it to hell. He felt sick that he couldn't do anything to fix this. Physically sick.

Shaking his head, he stood up and gently padded to the chest of drawers under the mirror. He caught sight of his own bruised face but didn't spare a thought on it. His next call had to be a tow truck. He had to get Dean's car back for him. Sighing in relief, he pulled out the local yellow pages and flicked through the pages. They were in a small town, a very small town. He would be surprised if anyone would be on call after two in the morning but he had to try.

Finding two companies listed with one two towns away, he moved to the bathroom, closed the door behind him and dialed the local one first. Success. An awake and alert man answered. After softly apologizing about the time, Sam organized for the Impala to be picked up immediately. The man promised it would be delivered to him at the Motel within the hour. Perfect.

Maybe Dean could be spared the stress of his car not being out the front now. That was something at least. The detail about it not starting would seem a lot easier to break to him instead of trying to explain that he had left her alone and defenseless with moronic effing losers on a vendetta in close proximity. He pulled out one of his fake credit cards and sat at the kitchen table, waiting for the tow truck while hoping to God the Impala would be okay.

It wasn't.

As soon as Sam saw the headlights shine through the window signifying the truck pulling up, he bolted outside. It was then he saw the aftermath of his actions. One of the headlights along with the windscreen was completely smashed in, the hood was covered in dents and the two front tires were flat…and slashed. 'Oh my God.' Sam exclaimed putting a hand to his lips.

A gruff and grease-covered older man jumped out from the driver's side and greeted Sam with; 'I take it she wasn't like that when you left her.'

'No.' Sam said still checking her over. Dean was literally going to have a fit.

'Looks like you might have messed with the wrong guys.'

Sam's head snapped up to look at him. Just then another man exited out the passenger's side door – with a baseball bat.

He should have known. A town like this where everybody knew everybody and had each other's backs. How could he have ever even considered calling one of them to help him? Idiot!

'I was told to expect your call.'

'How much do I owe you?' Sam said just wanting this over and them both gone.

'Seven hundred.' answered the driver smugly.

'Sev-. Dude its only two minutes down the road, if that.'

'Seven hundred.' He repeated in a not so friendly tone.

'Look, those guys, they totally beat the hell out of my brother. Five against one…'

'That's not my problem. Seven hundred. Take it or leave it. But just so you know, we don't free the car until the debt is paid in full.'

Closing his eyes and taking a breath, Sam handed him his credit card.

'Sorry, cash only.'

'Cash only? I don't have –'Suddenly it came to him. 'Oh I see what you're doing here.' Getting back the money Dean had made from his buddies. Not a bad move Sam thought to himself. He had to give him that.

'Taking it or leaving it kid? We don't have all night.'

'Fine. Wait here.'

'I wouldn't take too long. Clock is ticking.'

Rustling through Dean's jeans, Sam found the five hundred his brother had hustled from the 'wrong guys' and pulled another two hundred from Dean's wallet. He was so, so dead.

Handing it over to the driver hurt. His arrogant demeanor even when he ordered baseball-bat-man to drop the car made Sam want to start throwing punches all over again, but somehow he refrained not wanting any more trouble, especially when Dean was just on the other side of the door.

'Let's go Freddie.' The driver said giving a loaded nod to his friend.

Before Freddie made a move back to his door, he swung the baseball bat high in the air and slammed it down fast into the other headlight. 'I'd get out of town quick smart if I were you.' He laughed a toothless laugh and climbed back into his seat.

Okay so this wasn't good. Not only was the Impala smashed in, but it wasn't even starting. Add that to the fact that now these bikers knew exactly where they were staying and Dean being hurt, Sam had a real issue on his hands. This was not good at all.

'What was that?' Sam was welcomed back into their room with Dean struggling to sit up after he had just woken to the sound of smashing glass. Sam rushed to help him up but replied with;

'Nothing, don't worry.'

'Sam?'

'How are you feeling? You look like hell.' Once he had made Dean as comfortable as he could be, Sam sat opposite him on his bed and scrutinized his every breath, pushing aside the feeling of desperation that was swallowing him whole.

'Right back at you' Dean mumbled 'What happened to you?' Somehow Dean found the energy to frown. Dean was always frowning. Sam wondered if this time, it hurt him to frown.

'Just go back to sleep. You'll feel better if you go back to sleep.'

'What happened?' Dean repeated seeing and not liking the red marks on his brother's face. It was hard to talk but the stress of seeing Sam wounded forced him to say more words than he felt up to.

What Sam wanted to tell him was that he had banged into the coke machine and dropped a bottle outside, something simple like that just to ease Dean's mind but they had sworn no more lies. It was part of their new deal and Sam was not likely going back on that. It meant everything to him that Dean trusted him again. He wouldn't risk it. Ever.

'If you remember to ask, I'll tell you in the morning. Just go back to sleep.'

'You went after them didn't you?'

Instead of answering, Sam just looked at him blankly before dropping his eyes to the floor.

'You frickin idiot.'

'Just go back to sleep.'

'You okay?'

'Yes. Fine.'

'Are they?'

'Who cares?'

Dean winced as he tried to shake his head in disapproval. Even shaking his head hurt. This did nothing for Sam's assurance that his brother was okay. 'Maybe you should go to the hospital.'

'No, no way, no hospitals.'

'Dean-'

'No!' He tried to yell but instead just got himself all worked up and in turn freaked Sam out.

'Okay, we'll see. Just go back to sleep.'

Feeling at ease that Sam was alright, Dean resigned himself to the fact that sleeping hurt a lot less than being awake and shuffled himself down back into the bed. Sam stood over him, fixed his pillow and pulled the covers over him. As his hand brushed over Dean's arm, he felt how cold Dean had become and turned the heater back on.

'Remind me to kick your ass tomorrow.' Dean said to him before closing his eyes.

'Sure thing.' Sam said as he sat back on his bed, leaning back on the wall wondering what the hell to do next.

He didn't move from this position for the rest of the night. Instead he jumped at every noise, watched Dean like a hawk and was ready to pounce on anything and anyone who dared come near them. He was ready. Even without any sleep, he was alert and ready.

Finally and eventually morning shone through the curtains. There had been no drama and no enraged psychotic lunatics wanting revenge, but daylight didn't bring any more hope or promise than the dark hours of the night. Dean still looked like the near dead and so did the Impala.

'Can you walk?' Sam had asked his brother after he handed him a glass of water and more aspirin.

'Yes I can walk.' Dean huffed as he attempted to get out of his bed. Sam hurried to help him but as soon as Dean straightened up he slumped right back down again.

'You need a doctor.' Sam frowned placing him back on the bed.

'No I don't. I'm fine – or I will be if you stop fussing.'

'You might have broken ribs Dean.'

'I don't have broken ribs, I know what broken ribs feel like and it's not like this.'

Only rubbing his eyebrow, Sam sighed. How was he going to get Dean to a doctor when they had no car, didn't know who they could trust and only had about twenty dollars in cash to their name? This, was a freaking nightmare.


	3. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Explaining everything to Bobby in little over a whisper from the bathroom wasn't only difficult but daunting as well. He fully expected a telling off for getting them into this mess, but fact was, he needed help and apart from Cas, Bobby was the only one that could do just that.

He had no choice, it was his only option and apart from some brusque words and a promise to discuss both of the boys' actions later, he came through without hesitation. He was already locking up his house before he hung up the phone. Only thing was he was more than five hours away. At least they wouldn't have to spend another night stuck in a town filled with newfound enemies though, that was something. The sooner they were out of there the better.

So to tell Dean now or later, that was Sam's dilemma. The poor guy didn't need this. He really did not need this. It was actually the last thing he should have to deal with. The stress and despair alone would probably make him worse, his recovery slower. On the other hand, he sort of had to know. Bobby was going to be knocking on their door ready to pick them up and tow the Impala within hours. There was no hiding it unfortunately and if there was, and if Sam did, Dean would be even more pissed at him.

He stepped out of the bathroom to find Dean up and making a coffee. He had had a morning sleep - which seemed to have done wonders - while Sam had watched some TV and tried once more to contact Cas in every way he knew how…..to no avail.

'You look better.' Sam smiled happily even though he was as nervous as hell. Seeing his brother down and out was destroying him and it was fantastic seeing him up and walking around even if it was slow and obvious he was still in pain. Maybe they didn't need a doctor afterall.

'I feel better. You want one?'

'Here. I'll make it.'

'No, I can do it.' Dean being stubborn as usual and never a good patient meant Sam had to let him but he stood close just in case. Pouring the boiling water was of main concern but even though he shook slightly, Sam didn't need to intervene.

Dean sat himself down at the table and looked up at his brother. 'So about last night...'

Taking a sip of his own coffee and leaning against the sink, Sam swallowed, 'What about it?'

'Well, for a start…what the hell were you thinking?'

'What was I thinking? What were you thinking? Hustling those guys… they were frigging huge Dean.' He did not intend on getting his ass kicked without kicking some of his own first. Dean was just as stupid fighting those guys as Sam was.

'They were drunk.'

'So were you.'

'We needed the cash.'

'Not that bad. Not bad enough that you end up like this.'

'I can handle it.'

'Dean.' Sam's crinkled, frustrated face just got Dean aggravated.

'What?'

'You can't be doing this. You're losing control again, drinking too much, not getting any sleep, pissing people off, getting beat up.'

'Oh God, a lecture from my little brother. Fucking great. I don't need this Sam.'

'Yes you do.'

'No I don't and you know what else I don't need? My fucking brother going off to fight my battles for me.'

'What did you expect me to do?'

'Umm, go to sleep?'

'Yeah right. They beat the shit out of you. As if I wasn't going to take them down.'

Dean pointed a finger in the direction of Sam's face 'You are just lucky they were pissed. You wouldn't have gotten off so lightly if they weren't.'

'Yeah that's true. I might have been in the same condition you are in right now.'

Dean could only shake his head. His body wouldn't allow him to take on the stance he needed to to shut Sam the hell up.

'Speaking of though.' Sam started, his blood pressure rising, his pulse quickening, his gut swirling. 'There's something I need to tell you.'

Only frowning, Dean waited.

'But you got to promise you won't go crazy. It's getting sorted as we speak.'

'What the hell have you done?'

'Well –'Sam started while Dean adjusted in his seat. Sam wasn't denying that he had done anything liked Dean had hoped. Instead he was beginning to sweat. This was not a good sign. 'See –'He was nervous, no, he was dead set freaking the fuck out. Was he getting pale? Yes, the blood was actually draining from his face. 'Sam, what have you done? Tell me.'

'I took the Impala to the bar last night and –'

'Oh no. Nonono.' Dean winced as he stood up. Sam raced ahead and turned to stand in front of him with his hands raised blocking him from going any further. 'Wait.'

'Get out of my way.'

'Just hang on a sec.'

'Move!'

'It wouldn't start; I had to leave it there.'

'Dude, let me see my car.'

Sam stood aside after he saw the look in his brother's eyes. He was definitely and absolutely not mucking around.

'I'm sorry Dean. I called the tow truck as soon as I got back here, only thing was it was too late and the driver was mates with the bikers and just added to it. Bobby's on his way -'

Dean almost passed out when he opened the curtains and looked through the window. 'Oh my Fucking God! Son of a bitch!' he spun around too fast.'You stupid, fucking idiot!'

Sam couldn't say anything. His mouth wouldn't open. All he could do was look helplessly at his brother and then follow his gaze back to the Impala.

Dean needed out, he needed to check this out properly. Getting to the door, he turned to Sam and said, 'Do NOT follow me!'

Sam did as he was told but kept an eye on Dean at the same time through the window. It would be just like his brother to try to start fixing his car right there and then, hurt or not. He watched as he checked and rechecked every single inch of the car, clutching his stomach and running his fingers along the dents. It was an effort opening the driver's seat door but once he poked his head in, Sam realized that he hadn't thought of checking the interior.

Dean's fist banging on the dash told him he should have.

Sam rushed out the door but stopped dead as Dean straightened up and glared at him over the top of the open door, fury pouring out of his bruised eyes.

'What did they do?'

'The stereo's gone. It was the damn original Sam!'

'Dean, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left her there.'

'No you shouldn't have gone in the first place!'

'I just wanted some payba-' He stopped himself knowing how that would sound to Dean after every single thing they had gone through over the past years. Not a good thing to say. Dean's eyes squinted very unimpressed. 'I couldn't let them get away with doing this to you.' When Dean didn't answer, he added another; 'I'm sorry.'

Doing another quick check of the inside, Dean closed the door and raised his eyebrows at his brother, 'You are lucky I am in this condition, I tell you.'

Even though Dean was in this condition, when he shuffled past Sam, Sam sidestepped away from him, just in case. Dean didn't make a move to hit him; instead he just stepped through the door and picked up his jeans.

Sam followed him in and watched his sad attempt at pulling them on. After huffing and puffing and cringing and flinching. Sam moved over to him,

'Here, let me help you.'

'Do not –' Dean said, 'come near me.'

'Dean, I said I am sorry and Bobby is on his way. He's towing her back to his place. We'll fix her once she is back there.'

Sam frowned in confusion when Dean grabbed hold of his jacket and patted his jeans pocket for his wallet. 'What are you doing?'

'Going for a drink.'

'What?' Was he trying to give Sam a heart attack?

Dean was pissed and not answering. All he wanted was to get out of there away from Sam before he did something he regretted and get himself a drink to calm the hell down.

'No you're not.' Sam moved to the door way, leant against the door and crossed his arms. 'No way Dean.'

'Get the hell out of my way. I mean it Sam; you do not want to fuck with me on this. I am this close to giving you a smack down as it is.'

'You can't go out there. The whole town wants our heads, not to mention you can hardly walk, not to mention you do not need another drink! We just have to sit it out here, like it or not.'

'Fine.' Dean said as he slumped back down on his bed.

Sam hesitated but relaxed a little when Dean switched on the TV with the remote and settled back against the headboard, 'But just do not talk to me, don't even look at me.'

Sam could cope with that. As long as Dean was with him safe in the room, he didn't need to talk; in fact he was quite happy not talking. He didn't feel like being yelled at for being so stupid, feeling responsible for the wreckage of the car or having to hear how pissed off Dean was with him. Not talking was fine. Not talking was good.

Not talking was depressing.

'Want some toast?'

Dean didn't answer. Sam was hungry, he wanted toast. Sam knew he had to watch Dean though. Dean was still furious. Sam stopped watching Dean. It wasn't just the anger he hated to see in his eyes, it was also the disappointment.

It was when Sam stuffed his hand into the bread to break two slices from the loaf that Dean made his escape. He was out the door before Sam could even free his arm... So much for not being able to walk! That was the fastest Dean had walked in a long time.

Catching up to him was simple even though Sam was only wearing socks. Dean was scuffling along out of breath but on a mission, although a slow one. He was getting this drink, he was determined; by any means necessary he was getting this damn drink.

'You are being stupid. One person spots us and we're dead and for what? For a drink?' Sam tried as he sidled up to Dean.

'We are no safer in that room than we are out here. Everyone knows by now where we are staying right? They are probably planning their attack right now.'

'Okay so we go someplace else then.'

'That's what I'm doing right now.'

'What? Signing your own death warrant? You go to that place, they will kill you.'

'Then what? Huh? You tell me Sam!' Dean yelled. It was obvious it was hurting him being this angry, screaming that loudly but he was going with it anyway. 'We don't have a car, we can't drive anywhere. We stay there we are sitting ducks anyway. Might as well bring it on I say.'

'That's stupid.'

'And so was going back there!'

'Okay, I screwed up, I know! But it's done and we can't do anything about it now, can we?'

'Yes. We can, I can take this five hundred bucks I won from the fuckers and spend it on beer.'

Sam stopped. Dean stopped. Sam spoke. 'About that –'

'Ohhhh what now!'


	4. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 4

Chapter 4

They hadn't even made it out of the car park. Dean's previous burst of desperate energy to escape the room had hurt parts of his body he never even knew were hurt. It was hard to walk, it was hard to stand, it was hard to stay upright and doing all these things at once was starting to make him feel nauseas. And he needed more aspirin.

But first things first. No matter how bad he felt, he really had to kill his brother.

God, why did Sam have to be so damn big? No one's little brother was as big as this and Dean had never felt it so much as this day. He wanted to slam him, smash him to a wall and belt the frickin crap out of him. Yet when he looked up at him and saw his floppy hair falling into his sorry, sad and worried eyes it made him want to tell him everything was okay, all was cool.

But then….only moments later he would think about how all their cash was gone and their car was broken and he would want to slam him and smash him into that wall and belt the frickin crap out of him all over again.

He was confused and furious but he couldn't go through with any of those options. Even though he refused to admit it to Sam, he knew he had started this. He was an idiot choosing those guys to wage war on. Even being that drunk, he knew it was never going to end well. Even if he lost, it would have ended the same. They were loose canons. Tough guys out to prove a point, wanting to throw their power around and pull someone down. As soon as Dean made eye contact with just one of them, he could tell that. Yet he downed another drink and stepped right on over to them.

He was fully aware that it was the alcohol's influence and Sam was right about it, but Sam didn't know the full extent of it, just like Dean wasn't aware of Sam's demon blood addiction until it was too late. Dean could feel himself falling and failing but he could just not bring himself to admit any of it to anyone, especially not to Sam. He would deal with it. Once he recovered and if he made it out of this town alive, he would pull himself up again and fix it all.

Right now though, all he could think about was the hidden three-quarter full bottle of whiskey at the bottom of his bag back in the room and his next move was to turn around and make his way just there.

Sam followed him, trying his hardest to walk that slowly. It was a challenge, but he wanted to trail rather than lead him. He had to make sure Dean was safe and okay even if Dean didn't want him anywhere near him. He wanted to show that even though he had screwed up and was the worst brother in the world he was still there, he would always be still there.

He felt the silent tension in the air even though they were outside. Once inside nothing changed. Dean wasn't talking, Sam wasn't pushing. It was going to be a long day.

Over an hour later and three whiskeys down, Dean heard the roar of a built up engine tearing into the driveway. Without standing he peered out the window only to see a hotted up Dodge Challenger heading straight for their room.

He stood too quick almost unaware of the pain and grabbed hold of his bag, 'Sam get your gun.'

Sam did so without question and watched helplessly as the car rear ended the Impala causing her to inch closer to the room.

'Holy Mother of God, did you see that, they just smashed right into her.' Dean raised his gun and backed into the wall near the window, ready to turn and fire.

'Dude, they're human, we can't shoot.'

'They are not human, they are monsters. They just – dammit!' Sam was right. As a rule they didn't kill people. Dean didn't lower his gun though, instead he stood there waiting and thinking. He had to think.

Sam himself backed up against the side wall and tried to listen for any movement or voices. All he ended up hearing though was the roar of another three engines pulling into the car park.

Dean did a quick check out the window grateful they could see out but their opposition couldn't see in. No one was leaving their cars just yet but they were outnumbered and trapped and at a serious disadvantage.

'Why the fuck are we still here? We should have left last night.' Dean snarled in a whisper.

'You couldn't move last night and either could the Impala.'

'And we can move now? Dude, seriously. What the fuck.'

The next sound they heard were motorbikes, one after the other. Pretty soon they were surrounded. There was no way out.

'Oh this is just great, we're gonna die in some bad 'Vacancy' rip-off.' Dean complained. 'Fucking fantastic.'

'Where the hell is Cas? We could really do with him right about now.' Sam had his own complaint.

'Good point and come to think of it, where's God? He owes us big friggin time.'

Sam leant out from the wall to assess the situation. Yes, the same dudes he wiped out last night were the same dudes now sitting pretty on their motorbikes.

All at once every driver and rider out there revved their engines.

'Maybe they are just trying to scare us.' Sam said after waiting for their next move but hearing nothing.

'Scare us? No really? Why would this scare us?'

Silence.

All they were doing were staring straight ahead at the window, goading them out, wanting another fight, begging for it, provoking it. Only Dean was battle worn and Sam was still not willing to kill them.

'I'm at a loss.' Sam declared after scanning his brain over and over again for a possible out. He had nothing. No, he had less than nothing and judging by his brother's face he was not alone.

Twenty minutes later and no one had moved and nothing had changed. They were at a standstill, a stand-off and it seemed like Sam and Dean had the next move. They just weren't quite sure what that was to be.

'You know, I wish they were demons-' Dean said '-Or better still; angels. At least then we could kill them and have fun doing so.' They had holy water and rock salt with them in the room but holy water and rock salt wouldn't do jack against these crazies. 'They had to be human didn't they? If by some miracle we get out of here, remind me not to deal with humans.'

'We shoot if they do.' Sam said keeping an eye on one of them who was fishing for something in the back seat of the Dodge.

'We should call Bobby.' Dean said. 'Get a convoy going. Round up some troops.'

'Good idea - if they can make it here before these idiots get bored.'

Dean winced as he leant over and grabbed his phone from the bed.

'Could end in a blood bath though.' Sam mentioned as an afterthought watching the man step up to Capt F with an overnight bag as Dean scrolled to Bobby's name on his contact lists.

'We gotta try.'

Bobby was up for the idea and told them he would start the ball rolling. He had more contacts than the boys and knew who to call first to get the word out. After the Apocalypse was averted and averted by the Winchester's sacrifice, some of the hunters – not all, not even a lot – but some of the hunters were back on side. If they could make it in time and appear all at the same time, maybe, just maybe this could work. It was a long shot, but it was possible. They hoped.

'Cas anytime now would be good!' Dean said to nothing but stuffy air, frustrated with his angel friend. 'Where the hell is he?'

'Try calling him.' Sam ordered only half listening to his brother.

'I really do have an issue with dialing-an-angel.'

'Do you have an issue with dying too?'

'Good point.'

Cas didn't answer.

Cas never answered anymore.

It was becoming a problem.

'If he could just come and zap us the hell out of here, -.' Dean gave a laugh, 'Imagine these crazy sons of bitches if we just disappeared.'

'Dean –' Sam nodded towards the window alerting Dean to a new development. Another two cars pulling in.

'I think we have to do this alone Sammy. I don't think we should just sit here and wait for the whole town to turn up.'

'Do what?'

'Like you said, shoot if they do.'

'Are you insane?' Sam frowned. 'You are saying we should go out there? With guns?'

'Yep.'

'Okay just say we do; just say they let us go, where the hell do we go? And what? You just want to leave the Impala here?'

'No I don't want to leave the Impala here, but what choice do we have? We go out the bathroom window –'

'The bathroom window is almost to the roof, how the hell are you going to get out of there?'

'I just do.'

'And go where?'

'I don't know, hide out and sit it out somewhere where we aren't so cornered.'

'They'd have a man out there for sure.'

'Have you seen one?'

'No but that doesn't mean there isn't one. For all we know the staff could be in on it as well. What's to say they didn't pitch themselves there before these mugs showed up?'

'Check it out.'

'I'm calling Bobby again. Seeing how far along he is with the much better plan.'

'Sam, check it out.'

Obeying his sick and wounded older brother, Sam did so only to return and report that yes, there were at least two men out there manning the window. He had heard them talking about getting new tattoos on Friday.

'Son of a bitch!'

Sam held back from an 'I told you' and dialed Bobby hoping the much better plan was well underway.


	5. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Bobby & co were making good time, he had organized a whole rally of hunters who were on their way, but even though they were coming from all directions, the closest was still over an hour away.

Thing was, the gathering with nothing but retribution and retaliation on their minds were beginning to get restless and the more time went on the more tense and edgy they were becoming.

'Come on out fellas!' One of the bikers yelled out. 'Let's get this party started.'

'I think they're scared Jimmy, do you think they're scared?' Another yelled to taunt them.

When Dean and Sam only looked at each other instead of answering, Jimmy leapt onto the hood of the Impala, a shard of headlight glass falling onto the asphalt from the force. This did not please Dean at all, it only added insult to injury and when a few of the others found it hilarious and joined him, their confidence and arrogance burned him straight to the core.

'Dude-'

'Dean, they are just trying to get to you.' Sam tried.

'Well, they are going the right way about it. I really want to go out there and start shooting.'

'We just have to wait it out as long as we can.'

'This is crap Sam. Us hiding out here like some scared-ass little sissies. I say we go out there and face them head on.'

'Really?' Sam looked at him in disbelief and said the only thing he could think of to shut that idea right off, 'Want me to go first?'

As predicted, Dean rolled his eyes, gave a resigned sigh and returned his attention to the window.

It saddened and angered Sam that his thought process was correct. He absolutely believed that if he had rephrased the question to; 'Do you want to go first?' Dean would have said 'Yes.' and would be already on his way out there. Sam wished with all his heart that his brother would just quit handing himself over to situations that could hurt or kill him, he was always so quick to sacrifice himself.

He had been given hope when Dean agreed to say no to Michael. It seemed they had finally hit a turning point, especially when Dean had gone along with Sam's idea of jumping into hell with the Devil; that was huge, but Sam found that to be short lived, only mere months later here Dean was still putting Sam before himself. In fact, in a lot of ways, because of what happened Dean had had to live his very worst fear and his protectiveness was even more intense than ever. And that scared Sam to death.

Why couldn't his brother mean as much to himself as he meant to Sam? Why was everything and everyone much more important to Dean than his own wellbeing? He had no issue setting himself up to get the hell beat out of him so they could make some quick cash, furious at Sam for doing the same but not angry at himself, never angry at himself for putting his own life in danger. No, to Dean that was normal, that was who he was, and his fear alone of losing anybody he loved, or watching them die when he could have done something wouldn't allow him to be anyone else.

So Sam had to keep at him because what if, one day, another day Sam wasn't around to stop him? He had to keep building him up and making him understand he was more than worth it. To even consider Dean giving the ultimate sacrifice again terrified him, horrified him beyond comprehension. He couldn't even stand the thought let alone the reality.

But he said nothing. His blood boiled, his stomach churned and his body stiffened at the mere thought but he said nothing. Dean would only get all pissed off and shut him down if he started, he didn't like any kind of talk like that. Sam had to prove Dean and his worth in other ways…even though that didn't often work either.

Nothing seemed to work and Sam wondered if anything ever would but he would never give up. It was, in its most direct form; a life or death situation.

The stones being thrown at the window didn't really faze them; they weren't throwing them all that hard and not all that often. It was when the knocking started that things were becoming a little too close for comfort. They weren't only knocking on the door, but on the windows, the weatherboards and the Impala. Fact was now they were beginning to get more than a little intimidating and Dean wasn't up for that.

'What do you want?' Dean called out unaware that he probably should have discussed any kind of proposed communication with Sam.

'What the hell are you doing?' Sam whispered at him astounded.

'Get your pretty ass out here; we have some things we got to discuss.' Capt F answered back as the knocking ceased.

'I'm going out.' Dean announced causing Sam's heart to stop.

'No, no way'

'You stay here, you back up in the kitchen and you start shooting if anyone comes for you, you hear me?'

'Dean, no!'

'Sammy, this ends now. I've had it with these fucking losers.'

'Come on Sasquatch, come out and get your comeuppance.'

Dean faltered on the door handle. Sam was already giving him a smug glare before he even turned to look at him.

'They want me.' Sam said. 'Not you, me. So maybe I should go out there and you should back up in the kitchen.'

'Don't be a smart ass.' Dean pointed a firm finger at him. 'You aren't going out there.'

'Well either are you.'

'This has got to stop. It ends now. I'm done.'

'I'm coming out.' Dean called back to the men, causing Sam to rush over to him in an attempt to shut him up. 'You fight me though, not my brother! This is my fight not his.'

'Are you out of your fucking mind?' Sam snarled at him, preparing himself for not only a battle with the psycho town from hell but his brother as well.

Dean waited for a response, a deal to be made while Sam slapped Dean's hand away from the door handle. 'We have a deal?' he called when no one replied.

'We've dealt with you; we need to deal with the other one. That's our deal.'

'You gotta get through me to get to him!' Dean yelled back, checking their reactions through the window, completely ignoring Sam's pleading.

With a laugh, another response came; 'Okay tough guy, come out and we'll do just that.'

'Back up in the kitchen.' Dean ordered Sam.

'No, you are not going out there.' Sam jumped in front of Dean as he once again made his move to the door handle. Doing the only thing Sam could do, he pushed Dean away shoving him back onto his bed.

'Ow, you little shit that fucking hurt.'

'Oh really? That hurt? That's nothing compared to what they will do to you if you go out there genius.'

'Come out before we come in. We want your ass and if we have to come in and take it, we will.' Capt F yelled jumping up from his laid back position on the impala becoming impatient.

'Dude you are not going out there, I will just keep pushing you back if I have to.' Sam said with a look so determined it made Dean think….and struggle to lift himself back up.

'You willing to shoot if you need to?' Dean asked coming up with another plan, even if it wasn't a good one.

'Not to kill.'

'Sam-'

'What? Are you?'

'Kinda, yeah.'

'You can't do that.' He said shaking his head.

'I can if its self defense and so can you.' He turned his voice to a whisper, 'Okay, we back up, we get into position and if they do come in, we shoot okay?'

Taking a deep breath, Sam reluctantly agreed.

Once they were down behind the kitchen bench, their guns raised, their backs against the cupboards and ignoring the new taunts of the many crazy people, Sam started in. He was at an advantage, Dean was down and trapped and he couldn't walk off on him. To hell with him not being able to talk to him. To hell with it.

'Dean, man, you gotta stop.'

'Stop what?'

'You know what.'

Dean had no idea what his brother was talking about but figured it was something about his drinking so he remained silent not wanting to get into that, he had decided to fix it and he would…alone.

'You were just so willing to go out there. Just hand yourself over.'

'No, I was willing to fight….and shoot.'

'And hand yourself over.'

'Sam, don't.' Now that he knew what was coming he wondered what was worse. The drinking, the whole town gunning for them or the sacrificing crap Sam always went on about. Sam just didn't get it. He wasn't going to let anything hurt his brother again. There was no way known. And if, by chance anything did, he would gladly sacrifice himself all over again. It was just the way it was and people, especially Sam, had to deal with that. His brother was his world. Simple as that and the sooner he accepted it, the better.

Anyway, he had tried backing off, letting him go and look what happened. It was just lucky Sam had managed to escape hell. If he hadn't and if he was still down there, Dean knew for a fact that if he couldn't have saved him, then he wouldn't be alive either.

'They wanted me and you want to go out instead.' Sam continued.

'They screwed with the Impala.' Dean lied to shut him up. They had other things to think about rather than this. Not the time or the place for a big deep and meaningful, there was bigger fish to fry. Was that a sound? Did he hear the door creak?

'I thought I got through to you-'

'Did you hear that?'

'Dean!'

'Shhh. This is the way you want it done, so let's do it. Focus.'

Sam focused for enough time to ensure that there was no imminent threat and again continued,

'You have to start putting yourself first.'

Okay Dean had had enough now. This was ridiculous and Dean hated that patronizing tone of Sam's, 'Dude, you are the one that put yourself in this. This was my fight and it was over and you just had to go in and mess with it and why? Because they messed with me. You did it to get your revenge because of what they did to me no matter what they could have done to you. You are the one that willingly jumped into the pit with the devil, you sacrificed then and you said yourself you would have sacrificed yourself to save me from hell if you could have so before you begin your whole big speech on who sacrifices for who, take a good look at yourself.'

Sam nodded, 'Okay, fair enough but Dean-'

'Dean nothing. You are no different or better than me so stop acting like it.'

'Good, just as long as you understand that.'

Dean rolled his eyes and checked his watch. He wanted anywhere but here. And he wanted a drink. And aspirin. His adrenalin had been helping with his pain reduction but now that Sam had started on this, he was beginning to get a headache.

'I'm sorry about the Impala.'

'I know.'

'And I'm sorry I got us into this. I just couldn't handle seeing you like that.'

'You gotta quit with the revenge thing, you know that right? Nothing good ever comes from it.'

Sam was amazed that Dean had managed to turn the lecture back on to him.

'I'll stop that if you stop with the sacrificing.'

'Just quit it, I mean it.'

'If you stop with the sacrifice. Fair is fair.'

'Fair is if you stop talking.'

Suddenly Dean's phone burst to life with a loud and confronting ringtone, causing the guys outside to get louder and Sam to stop talking….much to Dean's relief.


	6. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 6

Chapter 6

'How's it going there?' Bobby greeted as soon as Dean answered his phone. He was clearly worried; Dean could hear it in his voice.

'Not so good. I don't think they're gonna be happy with the whole freak night thing they got going on for much longer. They're already starting to want in. Tell me you have good news.'

'I have good news if you want to use it.'

'Why wouldn't we want to use it?'

'We can get two cars to you in about five minutes.'

'Two's not going to cut it.'

'That's what I thought. Well –' he sighed as Sam and Dean heard something different coming from behind the bathroom window. 'we will have another three cars in about forty minutes.'

'Forty minutes? Dammit. They aren't going to wait forty minutes.'

Sam had a sudden thought and stood up paying no attention to Dean's hand grabbing at the bottom of his shirt for him to sit back down. He had a hunch and if that noise was what he believed it could be, there was something else they might be able to do to get out of this.

It was perfect timing as well; even though Dean wondered why Sam had made a move he was still busy on the phone, distracted by the conversation. Sam motioned that he was going to check out the noise which eased Dean's mind enough and left him somewhat comfortable to complain and then conspire some more with Bobby.

Careful not to make a single sound, Sam crept into the bathroom and listened for some voices. There were none. He had no doubt that there was at least one man still monitoring the window, that was guaranteed, but if one of them had disappeared, even if it was temporarily, maybe he could fix this himself and make it up to Dean.

Looking at the window again, there was no way in the world Dean could make it out of it alone. He wouldn't be able to lift himself let alone crawl his way through it and Sam knew that if he made a move to open it while a guy was still out there, a team of tyrants would be in their room before he could blink. That wasn't the way out.

The way out was something different. Sam run his finger nails down the wall and heard the movement within an instant. Good, the man had heard him. Excellent. There was definitely only one, he was now sure of it. Only two feet shifting, one body budging, no voices speaking.

He lifted his gun and aimed it up at the window – just in case.

No further noise.

With a tap on the wall, purely to attract the guy's attention he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Cas's number. Luckily this time the phone went to message bank. It wouldn't have mattered if it hadn't though, Sam still would have gone through with it but at least this way he felt more comfortable talking into something to someone even if no one was listening.

He raised his voice and spoke.

'Cas, hi, it's me. Listen we have a situation on our hands. It's all cool, Bobby has organized a fleet of hunters, they are about to start turning up in around three minutes Dean says, but I could use your help. I'm kinda worried this thing is gonna turn into a massacre. You know what Bobby's friends are like, they shoot to kill and Dean is hell bent on letting it happen. Call me okay? Thanks.'

As predicted, Sam heard the feet shuffle away in a mad hurry. Taking advantage of that situation, he turned the latch and pushed open the window fully aware that if he was wrong about the one man band they were in deep trouble.

'What the hell are you doing?' Dean snarled as soon as he made it to the doorway confused at the noises he was hearing. Flabbergasted at his brother's actions and lack of information he had received, he moved in closer.

'Shhh.'

'Sam-'

'Dean shut up for a sec.' Sam continued on his way. Once the window was open, he backed back and shuffled Dean into the kitchen. 'What are you doing?' Dean grimaced clearly not impressed.

Ignoring his brother but feeling the adrenalin rush through his body, Sam checked the front window. Yes, discussions were happening. Good.

'Bobby said we could have two cars right? Is that what he said?' Sam questioned, his eyes not leaving the window.

'Yes but what are you doing? Tell me.'

'Tell him to bring them in. Get them to point their guns at them.' When Dean didn't move, Sam reached for his own phone and called Bobby himself.

'What's with the window being open?' Dean asked still confused and amazed at what was going down.

'Sam?' Bobby greeted.

'Bring them in.' Sam said with his most determined tone. 'Tell them to point their guns right at them. If something happens, tell them to shoot their tires.' and then disconnected.

Moving back to the window, he stood underneath it and pointed his gun right up to it. If anyone even dared poke their head through, they would be confronted with the barrel. Perfect.

'Tell me what is going on outside.' Sam ordered.

'Some are talking, some –'

Sam waited for Dean to continue. When he didn't he looked over at his brother quickly and noticed the shock on his face.

'Some what?'

'Some are getting into their cars.' He smiled. 'Sam some are leaving I think.'

'What about the others?'

'Others…..umm,' Dean moved closer to the window suddenly feeling a little empowered, 'Well, others are grabbing some weapons.' A frown replaced his smugness.

'What kind of weapons?'

'Bats, knives, machetes, chains. Okay some are getting ready to fight. Is this a good thing?'

'No guns?'

'Not so far.' He heard three cars start up. 'Maybe the ones leaving are going to get some.'

'Maybe. Point your gun through the gap in the curtains, make sure they see it but get down. Act like you will fire if you have to.'

'I will fire if I have to.'

'Don't stop talking to me; tell me what is going on okay?' Sam instructed, 'Tell me if anyone goes to come around here. How far away were the two cars?'

'Bobby said about five.'

'Okay good, so any second.'

'You want to fill me in on the plan.' Dean asked more as a statement than a question but nevertheless getting into position. He tapped his gun against the glass and held it still while keeping a keen eye on the reactions of the townspeople.

'We scare them.'

Dean wanted more. More information, more reassurance, more hope and more of a plan.

He got nothing. He saw something.

'Dude, someone is going around there.' Dean said in a bit of a panic. 'He has a bat.' He didn't like Sam being in a little room by himself, without his support. He knew damn well his brother was capable and competent but still, he felt like he should up and hurry to back him.

'Okay. Alone?'

'Yeah.'

'Okay.'

Sam took a breath, prepared himself and concentrated. It was time to focus and focus hard.

First thing he saw was the top of the bat through the open window. His heart pumped harder as he then primed himself to see a man's face poke through out of stupid curiosity. Instead all that happened was the bat pushed on the window and closed it on him. That….was not meant to happen.

'Okay, so that didn't work.' He stated to himself.

'Are you shitting me?' Dean whispered overhearing and feeling stressed and out of control all over again.

'Where are these damn cars?' Sam said backing himself into the kitchen, his gun still aimed at the bathroom window.

'Dude, I gotta tell you, right now, this is feeling like the worst plan ever.'

'It just might be.' Sam moved his head long enough to check the front. Dean was right, some were leaving so that had to be a good thing right? That had to give the plan at least some merit. Dean needed to give it some credit. If they scared even some of them, that was better than scaring none of them.

At least the yelling had come to a stop as well. The bikers were keeping one eye on the window where they could clearly see Dean's gun aimed right at them and another eye on the driveway. Sam could tell even from that distance that they were nervous. He just hoped they didn't thrive on those kinds of nerves.

'I can't believe you didn't include me in this.' Dean complained while checking it all out himself. Finally he saw two cars, one after the other pull into the driveway. Instantly he knew without a single doubt that these cars were part of Bobby's troop. They skirted around the edge of the car park, both passenger side windows armed.

Dean smiled, Sam smiled. It was on.

The second Captain F moved towards the room, one of the guns fired. These guys of Bobby's were not mucking around and that; was frickin awesome.

Captain F halted, his face burning with fury. That shot had rang out into the air above them and was obviously a warning shot. Every single one of them had known that yet every single one of them had frozen stiff.

'We gotta get the fuck out of here.' Said Jimmy in a flat out freak out.

'We should have busted in already.' A biker with a bruised eye said to Captain F as he mounted his bike. Sam recognized him as the fourth one he had smashed. 'We should have murdered that son of a bitch within the first five minutes. Fuck scaring them Max, that guy deserves to fucking die.'

'They're playing dirty.' Max said loud enough for Sam and Dean to hear, 'and if they want to play dirty, we will play dirty right back. These guys won't shoot us, but we will shoot them. Call Phil; get him to round up some rifles. These guys do not know who they are fucking with!'


	7. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 7

**Thank you to the people who take the time to review, add to alerts or faves and those that simply read. Much appreciated guys! xo**

Chapter 7

'So what's part two of your genius plan?' Dean asked Sam, more than a little put out that he had no say in this and it was turning to crap right in front of him. At least if he had an input he could feel like he deserved to be shot to hell. Right now, he really didn't.

'Now we pick up our stuff and head on out there.' Sam stated casually.

That got Dean's back right up but for no other reason than that is what he had suggested not all that long ago and he said as much. Sam's response was clear and calm.

'Dude you wanted to go out there when we had nowhere to go, when there were more men and when we had other options. Now we don't, so now we do.'

'You're the boss.' Dean chided still holding his gun to the window but stretching to reach his bag, wincing as he did so. Man, where was that aspirin? He would never admit it but with all this going on, he was feeling worse not better.

'I'll pack, I'll be quicker. You keep watch.'

'Yes Sir.'

Sam flung his own bag down and frowned, 'Dean, come on. Work with me here… unless you have a better idea?'

'This was my idea.'

'Okay, it was your idea. Goodo. So we gonna do this or not?'

'Not up to me.'

Great. So Dean was sulking – and hurt – and pissed. Dean at his best. Lovely.

All Sam wanted to do was save his brother and make it up to him. Find a way to fix it so Dean didn't have to. Sure, he supposed he should have filled him in on his intentions and sure, he would have been equally as pissed if Dean had've done the same thing to him but in this situation, there really was not enough time to have a full on round table discussion to thrash out the details. He saw an opening and he acted upon it and truth be told, as of now he was making it up as he was going along. He just didn't want Dean to know that. It would only cause him to freak out and try to take it all on himself and he just simply was not in the condition to do so.

So they had to go. They had to face these imbeciles before they got hold of some guns of their own and they had to do it taking Dean's state into account - which meant Sam had to take the lead.

When he finished packing for the both of them, he threw the two bags over his shoulder and lifted his gun. 'Okay, I aim at this Max dude and you aim at the others. If anyone makes a move, we shoot their tires.'

'What is with you and the tires? I'm gonna shoot _them_.'

'No man, we don't want them to come after us; we want them to not be able to move.'

'Shooting them will make them not be able to move!'

'Dean!'

'Fuck me Sam. You're pissing me off.'

'I know but let it go and just go with what I am saying okay?'

'Fine.'

'Follow me.'

'Sure thing Chief.'

Sam closed his eyes and took a breath not to prepare himself to open the door but to calm himself from his brother's attitude.

And people say he's the prideful one. Jesus.

He reached over to the door and took hold of the handle while checking over his shoulder that Dean was still behind him. Thankfully he was, even though his glare told him it wasn't where he wanted to be. Tough. Dean couldn't take charge on this one. He just had to deal.

'We're coming out!' Sam called. Dean strained to peer out the window. The guys were now straightening; some out of apprehension, others psyching themselves up for the long awaited confrontation. There had to be at least thirty of them out there. The odds weren't great but… the guns were... and that was something.

Sam turned the knob and slowly opened the door. 'You ready?' he asked his brother.

'Yeah, just go.'

Both of them switched on their hunter instincts, put their guns into position and stepped slowly onto the path finally sharing the same air as these losers.

The second Max took a step closer, Sam said; 'We will shoot.'

'No you won't.'

Sam aimed at his bike's tire and shot. One tire down. The leader's tire down. Yes.

'You motherfucker!' There was no getting through to this idiot, instead of backing down; he bolted towards Sam who merely shot his mate's tire. Dean took his aim off Jimmy and pointed his gun straight at Max's head.

'I will kill you you son of a bitch.'

Max stopped in his tracks, believing this one. The look in his eyes told him in no uncertain terms that if he so much as lifted a finger to touch the sasquatch, he was dead.

'We have more coming.' Sam said as he moved around them on his way to Bobby's associates and their waiting cars. 'Best if you guys get out of here.'

No one said a word - or moved a muscle.

'You touch the Impala one more time, and they will shoot you up.' Dean added. 'You let them tow it.'

'You guys calling the shots are you?' Max challenged.

'We're the ones with the guns.' Dean said, not shifting his aim.

'Not for long.'

'If you know what's good for you, you will walk away.'

'We're not going anywhere.' Max said crossing his arms. 'You want this car; you are going to have to fight for it.' He then added, 'You added the guns, we were happy to fight fair.'

'Fight fair?' Sam repeated. 'A whole town against two guys isn't fair. You beat him up and got your money back. You didn't need to go this far.'

Max raised his voice as he backed away from Dean and faced Sam. 'This guy ripped us off, made a fool out of us, he needed to be dealt with and we dealt with him. It had nothing to do with you but you made it about you and now you have to be dealt with too – only much, much worse.'

'You dealt with him by smashing up his car.' Dean said content to let them think she was Sam's.

'Not good enough, I want to smash him up.'

'Not going to happen.'

'One way or another, it will.'

Sam and Dean were making real progress and they were now closer to the cars than the crazy people. There was no way in hell though they were going to break eye contact.

'Let it go.' Dean said, 'You got your revenge. You don't want to keep messing with us.'

'Don't I?' Max smirked.

'It won't end well for you.'

Max nodded but then jumped to take a seat on the trunk of the Impala as he watched his opponents open one of the car doors. 'How long did you say your friends were going to be?'

Sam and Dean didn't answer. Just climbed into the backseat and breathed a huge sigh of relief. The driver, who they hadn't even managed to look at yet, took off. The other car trailed behind them. Once out of the car park, they lowered their guns and relaxed some more.

Sam was the first to glimpse the driver just after two other cars pulled into the drive way.

'Hey guys.' He smiled a smirk. 'Didn't your momma ever tell you not to get into a stranger's car?'

The feeling of pure and utter dread filled their guts as Dean instantly raised his gun at the drivers head and Sam pointed his at the passenger's. 'Oh you have got to be kidding me!' Dean growled.

They didn't even consider these two cars being anyone but Bobby's friends. How could they be so stupid? Of course these guys would have set this up. It's what they would have done. It was brilliant and now they were well and truly fucked. Sam was as close to throwing his hands up in the air and giving up as Dean was to shooting the jokers.

'I'm kidding guys.' The driver laughed. 'I couldn't resist.'

When neither of them laughed or relaxed the guy continued, 'Come on, it was kind of funny right?' When he received no answer and no movement, his smile dropped and he said a genuine; 'Guys, I'm sorry, really.'

'Who are you?' Dean ordered not willing to let his guard down just yet.

'Chris Evans, this is Joe Lombard, we're here because we heard vampires were in town.'

Finally they could both breathe out. They were in town for the very same reason, only they had killed the vampires dead two nights ago.

'That was anything but funny.' Dean reprimand dropping his gun. 'I could have shot you. I was going to shoot you.'

'You guys know the hunters' life, you don't get many laughs. Gotta take what you can get.' Joe said recovering from almost being toast.

Sam and Dean exchanged a bewildered look. What did they do to deserve these guys? Their lives sucked. All the time, their lives sucked.

When Dean called the very relieved Bobby they organized to meet at a diner three towns away. Chris and Joe dropped them off and turned around ready to join the convoy of hunters to fight the big fight. It was still hours away but they were happy to drive to the designated waiting area and meet and greet the other hunters as they came in.

As Sam and Dean sat down at one of the old and dingy booths in the old and dingy diner, they ordered what they could with twenty dollars and Sam spoke. 'Once Bobby gets here, I am going back with them to get the Impala.'

Dean's head snapped up from searching his bag for pills, 'The hell you are.'

'I can't let everyone get caught up in this when it is my fault. This could end badly and I don't want that on me.'

'They want you Sam. Not me, not Bobby, not any of the others. Just you.'

'I'm not going to just sit here and let them go in and take the fall for me.'

'Yes you are.'

'No.' Sam frowned, 'I'm not.'

'Yes. You are. Don't even piss me off with this. I'm serious.'

'So what? We just walk away?'

'Yes.'

'No. No way.'

'Yes we do Sam.' Dean sat himself up and raised his eyebrows giving Sam his best big brother glare. 'And you know why? Because you are going to prove to me that you can.'

'This isn't about revenge Dean, this is about saving people's lives.'

'You want to save people's lives?'

'Yes.'

'Then stay away. If you go there they will do anything to get to you. If you don't, maybe it will be a bit of out of sight, out of mind and they will back down. They don't have a beef if you aren't there. Think about it.'

'Dean.'

'Both Bobby and I agree on this. You are staying here. End of discussion.'

Going back to searching through his bag, a thought occurred to Dean and he searched harder, coming up with nothing. Sam watched as his brother became more than a little frantic.

'What's wrong?' he frowned.

'Did you pack the whiskey?'

'I don't know.'

'Sam, did you pack the whiskey?' His tone had an urgency in it that Sam didn't much like.

'Does it matter if I didn't?'

'Yes it matters if you didn't.'

'Why?'

'Because I want my whiskey.' Beginning to unpack the bag's contents one by one on to the top of the table firstly concerned Sam and then embarrassed him. He scanned the diner to see if others had noticed. Most of them had and were watching their table and his brother with inquisitive eyes.

'Dean.' Sam whispered. 'Dean.' Dean wasn't listening; instead he was still continuing to pile all his belongings, including his laundry on to the table.

'Dean!'

'What?'

'Stop. It's obviously not there.'

'Dammit Sam!' he yelled thumping the table causing the whispers to really start.

'It's not the end of the world.' Sam mumbled to the table humiliated beyond belief.

Dean's eyes flickered through the window and scrutinized the area. There were stores across the road, surely there had to be a convenience store that sold alcohol. Just one. He only needed one. He squinted and spotted exactly what he wished for. Once he had grabbed his stuff and smushed it all back into his bag he stood up. 'Cancel the order.' he yelled towards the staff.

'What?' Sam questioned, his eyes darting from Dean, to the staff and then back to Dean. His stomach had been rumbling for hours now, he wanted something to eat and fast, however when he realised that hope was over, he stood with his brother, gave an apologetic smile to the whole damn room and followed him out the door.

'What the hell Dean?' Sam was furious. All this over less than half a bottle of whiskey. This was not good, not good at all. In fact it was looking like this was worse than he thought.

Dean was well on his way, walking as fast as he could towards that store. He needed that alcohol, not even necessarily to drink right now, but just to have. He had to have it.

'This is ridiculous. Are you seeing yourself?' Sam growled keeping up easily. Even Dean's fastest step was still hindered by his injuries.

'Don't start Sam. Don't even start. You should have packed it. If you don't know to pack everything, you shouldn't have packed anything. I should have done it.'

'Just stop.'

'No.'

'I'm hungry. We haven't even eaten all day, or last night.' He tried.

Slowing a little Dean nodded, 'We'll get something from here. Put it on credit. That way we can pick up a few things.'

'Including more whiskey right?'

'Or beer. Feel like a beer?'

'No, I don't feel like a beer.' He lied. Truth was he did, his nerves were shot to pieces but only one, two at the most. He just did not trust this situation enough to even screw a lid off.

'You gotta let loose sometimes Sammy, live it up a little. You're always so uptight.' Dean said as he clutched his ribs while gaining some steam. Pushing the door open into the store, his first sight was the racks and racks of bottles to his right.

First destination; right there.

He didn't even bother to ask Sam for his assistance, he could tell by the look on his face that he was going to be absolutely no help at all. Instead he stopped a young guy as he was stepping by and said, 'Excuse me, do you work here?' It was obvious he did, he was wearing the same uniform the other workers were wearing.

'Yes.'

'Great.' As Dean pointed out exactly what he wanted, Sam could only stand by and watch dumbfounded. There was no way in hell Dean was going to drink all this. No way in hell. He would not let him. That was for damn sure.

'What are you going to do? Lock me in the panic room?' Was Dean's smart ass reply when Sam told him just that.

'Don't tempt me.'

'Relax, it's for all of us, not just me.' The new calm that had taken over Dean once he had skulled a bottle of beer and Sam was pushing the almost full cart back over the road to the diner terrified Sam even more. He knew what was going on, he had been through the same kind of thing himself, the same signs were there. Dean was out of control. Out of control and a dead set alcoholic.


	8. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

'Let's sit here.' Dean said pointing to the solid concrete side-wall of the diner. It seemed like the most private place; out of the way and out of sight of the prying eyes of the many customers coming and going. They could fimally get some time out yet still be able to see when Bobby's truck pulled in.

Sam parked the shopping cart next to where he would be sitting and took hold of Dean's arm to assist him down onto the pavement. He was surprised as hell when Dean didn't put up a fight but not so surprised when he saw him trying to cover up his pain as he lowered.

Once down and relatively comfortable, Sam unzipped Dean's bag and rummaged around in it for the aspirin. Pulling out a bottle of water from the one shopping bag they had, he handed that and the pills to his brother. Dean took them without argument. This spelled relief for Sam but also concern. All that had happened was taking its toll on Dean now that his adrenalin and anxiety were subsiding. He was in a lot of pain and Sam could see his hands shaking a little.

'Get me another beer Sammy.' Dean said just as Sam had pulled four slices of bread from their one loaf and handed two to him.

'You have to eat.'

'Not hungry. Just get me a beer.'

Sam didn't want to. He knew it was the last thing Dean needed – but he also knew himself what it felt like to really believe you had to have something to cope, to get you through, to survive. He didn't want to enable his brother but he didn't want him to feel this way either.

'Sammy.'

Sam was torn.

'Sam!'

'Just eat this and I will.' He promised sitting down, fully expecting some backlash. Instead though, Dean took a bite from his bread and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

'Crap couple of days huh?' Sam sort of smiled sadly.

'Weren't the best.'

Eyeing all the alcohol piled up in the cart beside him, Sam attempted to swallow his apprehension. How was he going to pull Dean out of this? He knew he had to handle it as carefully and as subtly as he could. Dean was one tough and stubborn patient.

He had to do it the right way, yet had to try every way. He couldn't ever sit back and relax or leave any stone unturned. This was going to be priority number one from now on and it was going to be one mother of a challenge. He just had to pull him through to the other side though, there was not another option.

He kicked himself for not seeing this sooner. All those times Dean had turned to the bottle and all the times the bottles had then lined their floor. He knew they were both drinking way too much and Dean more than he, but things had been so intense and shocking that drinking had been the one constant that had helped them through. Neither was willing to give it up, Sam could admit.

Seemed though that while he had backed himself away from it since he'd been back, Dean had fallen deeper and deeper into it. Sam wasn't angry though, he couldn't blame him. Everything they had gone through and suffered; it was more than anyone ever should. Then to be the one that was left behind- left in a world without his brother….well, Sam knew all too well what that felt like. No, he couldn't blame him; he just had to help him.

Pulling the pin on Dean drinking altogether, shutting off his supply and making him go cold turkey like he had to go through with his own addiction wasn't going to do it. The guy needed to get things out. It was much more than the alcohol he was drinking, it was the emotions he was holding onto so tightly and burying so deep. The beer, the whiskey it was just a comfort and a mask. It was a way of easing what was really going on inside. It had always been the same thing with Dean and Sam knew without a single doubt that this time he had to get Dean to open up and talk.

And getting Dean to open up and talk was probably the most impossible task of all time.

Sam was going to do it though; he was jumping in fully determined. Dean was falling again and it was him that was going to pull him back up...however long it took.

He turned his head to look at his still chewing brother and nodded convinced. Taking a bite of his own bread he sat back and pushed aside the sick feeling that was kicking his insides. He was going to do it. He was. Dean was going to be okay. His brother was going to be okay.

'Sam. Beer.' Dean ordered interrupting his thoughts. Sam obediently stood and grabbed one out. He even unscrewed the top for him. It went against everything he wanted to do but he did it nevertheless and then said, 'I wonder if they are still there.'

'The crazies?' Dean asked taking a swig and enjoying it too much.

'Yeah.'

'Definitely.'

'Can the car be fixed do you think?'

Once again Dean closed his eyes, but only for a second. Breathing in hurt but so did thinking about the Impala. Still, his brother and he had gotten out, that was the main thing.

'As it stands now, yeah. We'll just have to see what she's like when we get her back.'

'I bet you want to kill me for this.'

'I want to kill them but _someone_ won't let me.' He shot a sideways glance at Sam and even managed a small smile before taking another swig.

Sam returned the smile but then as the clouds shied away from the sun, his brother's bruises lit up reminding him once more just how wounded and hurt he was. If only he could completely screw those guys right up. Revenge or not, they deserved more than they got.

'You look like crap.'

'I'm okay.'

'We going to stay at Bobby's for awhile?'

'Looks like.'

That was exactly what he was hoping for. A stable bed in a stable house would make the world of a difference for Dean. Even fixing the Impala would give him something productive to do instead of walking around a shady motel room drinking. Yes, this was a good thing. Definitely. Or hopefully. Bobby's house always did support a lot of drink, that was for sure. He would have to have a word to Bobby about that. Maybe he could store it somewhere else while they were there.

'If this ends well today, we owe these hunters big time.' Sam said while still thinking.

'If it doesn't we owe them big time.'

'True.' Sam said. 'At least we can give them a beer though. That's a start.'

Dean didn't fall for it, just gave his brother another sideways glance but this time without the smile. He was onto him but he wasn't pissed, just aware and letting Sam know.

'I'm just worried about you man.'

'You don't have to be.'

'I kinda do. Look at the freak out you had.'

'I didn't freak out. I just wanted a beer or two.'

'A beer or two? This is like your third in fifteen minutes.'

'I think I deserve it after today don't you think?'

'Yeah man, for sure, but –'

'But nothing. Don't Sam.'

'Don't what?'

'Don't make it into something its not. Just let me have a damn beer without having to listen to you bitch and moan at me about it.'

Sam stood up and pulled out his own beer. If he drank it at least Dean couldn't. One less for him to consume. That was going to be one of his strategies. Get rid of them as delicately as he could even if Dean knew his line of attack. Didn't matter to Sam, at least then he would know that Sam was trying to help. Again, didn't matter that Dean didn't want his help. It just mattered that Sam was there…trying.

'Should we call Bobby again?' Sam asked. 'See where he's at?'

'Yeah.'

oOoOoOo

Bobby winced when he laid eyes on Dean. He gave him a soft hug to avoid hurting him any more and then Sam a much stronger one. Thank God they were okay. They had gone through yet another day from hell, but thank God they were okay. These boys were going to be the end of him sooner rather than later he was sure of it. The stress they put him through….

'So do I need to kick your asses before or after we get the Impala back?' he questioned.

Neither of them answered. Sam turned his attention to the ground, his dark hair falling down over his face hiding any hint of emotion he may have shown in those expressive eyes of his. Dean simply took another swig.

'This was all kinds of crazy.' He went on. 'You can't be drinking that much and doing stupid things like that' He scolded Dean, 'And you, you have got to stop with this revenge thing Sam, haven't you learnt a damn thing?'

'Yes.' Sam was the only one to reply. 'I have.'

'Really?' Dean was the one to comment out of stunned disbelief more than anything. He really wanted to hear this and prepared himself accordingly. By raising his eyebrows, folding his arms and putting Sam right off side all at once.

'Dude, you would have done the exact same thing if they had've done that to me and you know it.'

'Yeah, he's learnt.' He remarked sarcastically to Bobby.

Pulling a face at his brother, Sam turned back to Bobby. 'I did what anyone would have done. If it was a year or two ago I would have sliced them apart. They wouldn't be breathing let alone holding us hostage.'

'You idjits are falling back into the same patterns as before and look what just happened.'

When no one spoke, Sam tried to change the subject. He hated getting chewed out by Bobby. 'I want to come back with you and help.'

'What did I just say boy?'

'Bobby it has nothing to do with revenge, I just want to help.'

'And I told you, no way.' Dean stated, 'So just quit it before I get pissed off.' Even more so he hated getting chewed out by Dean, so he rolled his eyes and stopped talking before he brought it on.

'What's the plan?' Dean asked, 'I can come with and aim a rifle.'

'Are you frickin serious?' Sam literally could not believe what he had just heard.

'That worked well with Chris and Joe even if they were idiots.' Dean continued talking to Bobby, ignoring his brother.

'As if you are going.' Sam interrupted not positive Dean was not just trying to get a rise out of him. He had to be joking right? He had to be.

'I don't want either of you going.' Bobby said to them with a frown.

'You can't go in alone and Sam's not going, so take me. I can point a damn gun. ' Dean offered.

'Are you kidding? Like honestly, you are kidding right?'

'Shut up Sam.' Dean waited on Bobby's reply.

'You can hardly walk.'

'I can sit in a car and aim idiot.' He put on a smug smile, 'And shoot.'

When Bobby honored him with a laugh instead of a severe kick, Sam recoiled; 'You two go me for this revenge crap and it is exactly what you want to do! And what?' he turned to Bobby. 'If Dean does it, that's okay is it?'

'Bobby?' Dean pushed.

'You are not going. There is no friggen way.' Sam was putting his foot down on this.

'They don't want me Sam, they want you. That's why you can't go.' Dean stated finally speaking to his brother.

'And you can't go because you are hurt, and they know it. You are a sitting duck out there. They will go you before anyone else.' Sam said becoming furious.

'Sam's right,' Bobby nodded.

'Damn straight I am.'

'Well, I am not letting you go in by yourself. I thought you would be bringing another man, so you either take me or don't go at all.'

'Forget it Dean, you aren't going.' Sam almost yelled.

'So what? You want Bobby to go in alone?'

'I'm not going in alone; I have eleven car loads right beside me.' Bobby exhaled.

'Can one of the men sit in your truck with you?' Sam asked.

'Three of them can.'

'See, done.' Sam said to Dean. 'Problem solved.'

Bobby screwed up his face; 'There never was a problem. I just wanted to make sure you two were okay for myself, otherwise I would have organized one of the cars to start driving you back to my place.'

'We're fine.' Dean said never admitting he wasn't. 'You don't want to go in a car down.'

'You sure?'

'Yes.'

'Because it's not hard to get one here fast.'

'I'm fine, Sam's fine. We can wait.'

'He's not fine.'

'Sam!'

'Well, you're not!'

'You want me to get you a car?' Bobby checked with the younger of the two.

'No!' the older barked. 'I've waited this long, I can wait another hour or so.'

'Sam?'

'Bobby, I said I am fine.'

'He's not.'

'You want a car?'

'Yeah.' Sam nodded feeling as guilty as hell and knowing his brother was going to be pissed at him all over again, but just wanting, above anything else, for Dean to be sitting in a car away from this crazy situation, all this beer and to be finally on his way home.

_(To be continued...) _


	9. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Sam Winchester did not know if he was completely stupid or just insane. He had to laugh at himself though, it was pretty funny. The look on his brother's face when he had loaded all of the alcohol into Bobby's truck was priceless. 'Share it around, tell them it's our way of saying thanks.' Sam had said ensuring Dean's silence. There was no way in hell Dean could demand any of it back after that. He would look like an ungrateful, selfish bastard. It was perfect.

'I'm not going to be in this condition forever you know.' Dean mumbled giving his best fake smile and a last wave to Bobby.

Sam smiled trying to stifle a laugh.

'You won't be laughing when I get you alone.'

'I know.' Sam couldn't help it. A chuckle escaped.

'Enjoy it while you can buddy. We're five hours away.'

Dean Winchester was not happy. He did not want to be leaving others to fight their battles for them even though he understood why they had to. What he didn't understand was why he had to climb into the back of a stranger's SUV so that said stranger could drive him back to the closest thing he had to a home.

The further away they drove the further out of the loop they would be. What if this thing didn't work and something went wrong? What if someone got hurt? They were driving in the opposite direction for God's sake!

Not only that. What if Bobby and these hunters couldn't manage to gain possession of his Impala? He should have been there, or at least close by. It was his car they were trying to retrieve. It was like he didn't even have a say in any of it.

And another thing. He wanted to see her, he wanted to wait for Bobby, see the Impala being towed on the back of his truck, check her out and then drive home with her.

Something else he wanted; a frickin drink!

Sam was pissing him off.

What he really felt like doing was whacking his brother upside the back of the head. He reckoned he could do it too without causing much more pain to himself. All he would have to do was lean forward a bit and then bam, smack it. It probably wouldn't be as hard as he would have liked, but man it would have felt good.

The only thing that stopped him was this Tony dude.

Tony was the man Bobby had organized to come back for them. Sam and Dean had never before met him, let alone heard of him. He was a short, middle aged, skinny guy driving an expensive luxury SUV probably over the moon to be out of the line of fire. A day or two on the road in a flashy new vehicle; he won the jackpot there. No one involved in all this was luckier than he.

Sam seemed to be getting along okay with the guy, happy to chit chat and fill him in on the whole sorry story. Dean however did not want to talk, did not want to listen and did not want to look at the back of his brother's head any longer. He stretched out his legs, leant his own head against the corner panel of the rear windows and closed his eyes.

Even though it felt like seconds, it was well over four hours later when Dean woke with a start. They had driven over a pot hole or something just as unimportant. The radio was on low and Sam and Tony were still talking.

'Sam.' Dean said as he rubbed his eyes noticing it was dark out.

'Hey, how're you feeling?' Sam asked as he turned around to see his sleepy brother. 'We're nearly there.'

'Have you heard from Bobby?' Dean frowned.

'Yeah, they got her. He's on his way.'

Even though a deluge of relief poured over him, this time, he did whack his brother across the head. 'Why didn't you wake me?'

'Ow. God. Because you were better off sleeping.' He frowned rubbing the side of his forehead.

'No, I was better off knowing how my damn car is. How is she? What happened?'

'Bobby said she can be fixed. Sounds like she copped a bit more before they got to her though. Those guys weren't around when the others got there.'

'So all that was for nothing then? Great.'

'It wasn't for nothing, we got her back.' Sam replied, 'And no one got hurt. I'd say that was best case scenario.'

'No best case scenario was if it didn't happen in the first place.'

Okay so Dean hadn't woken in an any better mood, his voice was as gruff as ever, his jaw was set about as far forward as it could go and the look in his eyes was still one of being downright ticked. Sam gave Tony an apologetic sigh as he turned back around and found a spot on the windscreen to look through. Dean was right, the closer they got to Bobby's, the less he was laughing. In fact, he was pretty much freaking a bit out. Dean was going to kick his ass; maybe not physically, although that smack did kind of hurt, but definitely verbally.

Tony refused the offer to come inside Bobby's house. He could see that these two brothers had something going on between them that they had to sort out. Even though he was dying to use their bathroom, he lied and said he was making his way back to where he came from. Truth was, he was going to the nearest McDonalds to pee and eat before locating a Motel room where he could watch some TV and sleep.

The Winchesters had other plans; both different to one another's.

All Sam wanted to do was drop their bags, jump in the shower and chill out, all Dean wanted to do was have a drink and yell the crap through Sam.

Dean won.

'You know what I don't get?'

'Dean –'

'No answer the question. Do you know what I don't get?'

Sam sat down on Bobby's sofa and began to undo his shoelaces. 'No, what don't you get?'

'Who gave you the right to give away all of my fucking beer!'

'It wasn't your beer; it was someone else's beer. It's not like it was your money.'

'No, you gave away my money as well! I tell you what Sam, this is crap. All this, all that happened was a whole bunch load of crap! You are the one that always goes on about working together and keeping both of us in the know, treating each other as equals and all that, but you just went right out on your own at every turn on this one. You go fight these idiots, you give them my cash just because they asked for it, you change plans on me in a split second. I had no frickin idea what was going on in that room. We had frickin psycho bikies staking us out, ready to make us their lunch and you start doing your own thing without a damn word to me. That was just stupid. You left me hanging and confused. That was a dumbass thing to do. Too much room for error and you know better than that.' He took a breath while he continued to pace around the room eyeing his brother. Sam pulled both shoes off with his feet and sat back staring at the coffee table in front of him. 'Then you start taking over and making decisions on my behalf when I want something completely different. You should have heard me out. I didn't want to go with Tony; I wanted to wait for Bobby. I was fine waiting for a bit longer but no, Sam's so perfect, he knows best. Dean's all hurt and can't sit down and chill out ANY LONGER!' Now he was yelling. 'Then without even looking at me, without saying a word, you just haul all of my alcohol right over to Bobby and why? Because Sam thinks Dean wants to drink it all on the way home and he has to intervene and stop that doesn't he? If you care to even ask, I am onto my drinking okay? Once I stop feeling like the walking dead, I am onto it.' He shook his head, 'You did this all wrong and you left me out of it like I was some sick and stupid kid. I don't know where you get off treating me like that but I tell you, it stops now do you hear me?'

'That's not what I was doing.' Sam finally spoke, feeling sick and thoroughly scolded, but trying to appear strong on the outside, strong to Dean.

'Which bit?' Dean screamed.

'The bit about treating you like a sick and stupid kid. I was just trying to deal with it so you wouldn't have to.'

'Yeah because I am some sick and stupid kid.'

'No, because you were down Dean. You think I would have done it like I did if you were okay? We could have worked together if you weren't hurt but you were so we had to do it different.'

'Because you say so.'

'No, that's not it. I didn't nut out this plan, it just came to me and you were on the phone so I just went with it.'

'Which is a stupid thing to do!'

'Yes, okay.'

'We can't afford stupid! You are just lucky it worked out. No, we are. You threw me into it as well. I was at your mercy, their mercy without a friggin bit of anything to back me up.'

'I was there to back you up.'

'And who was there to back you up?' he screeched louder than he ever had.

Sam's stomach dropped. 'Oh no, Dean don't. Do not turn this around and make it about you needing to look after me. There is nothing wrong with me looking after you for a change. You don't have to be the one that looks after everyone else all the time.'

'Oh God, don't you dare. Do not start with this crap. We needed to be there for each other and you totally went against that. That's on you. Don't even bring me and my damn psyche into it.'

'Why do you have such a problem with me looking out for you?'

'I don't! You just went about it all wrong!'

'We got out didn't we?'

'By luck.'

'No, it was more than luck.'

'No it wasn't.' Dean leant against the table and folded his arms. 'It could have gone the other way just as easily. If they had guns, we would both be dead by now. You were riding on guesswork and chance, nothing more.'

Sam felt sick. 'What else could we have done?'

'No good asking now is there?'

'I was trying to fix it, i swear.'

'You screwed up Sam. You just...screwed up, case closed.'

So no credit where no credit was due, fair enough.

Sam nodded and looked down to his socks. He wanted out of there, he felt offended and hurt yet he wasn't sure if he was justified in feeling any of that. Once again he acted on best intentions and once again Dean didn't like them or agree with them; any of them. They were all wrong in his brother's eyes, just wrong, case closed.

'Are we done?' Sam asked.

Dean shook his head, rubbed his eye and took a deep breath in. 'For now. I guess.'

'I'm having a shower.' He picked up his shoes and bag and took off out of the room, leaving Dean alone and nodding … feeling guilty… and thirsty.


	10. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Sam forced himself to sleep in the next morning, mainly to avoid another confrontation or any more hurtful words. Even though he and Dean had slept in the same room: Dean on the old tatty sofa and Sam on the hard cold floor, they hadn't shared a word between them. After his shower, Sam had made up both their bedding and climbed into his own while Dean sat out in the kitchen drinking Bobby's liquor.

Later that night, Sam had only just heard Bobby step through the front door when he arrived home and only just felt Dean and he slip outside to check on the Impala. He couldn't face it at three in the morning and he couldn't face it now, especially when his brother blamed him for the whole damn thing.

Regardless though, he had to open his eyes some time and that some time was now. He was grateful when he realized no one was in the same room as he. He might have just kept sleeping if there were. Someone was rattling away in one of the utensil drawers in the kitchen and he wondered if that was what woke him up. Sam stood up, stretched and made his way closer to the doorway careful not to make his presence known. He wanted to check on Dean's mood before being noticed.

'It doesn't look like it's here.' Dean was saying as he fumbled through wooden spoons, spanners, screw drivers and spatulas.

'Well, I don't know. If it's not in there and not outside, I don't know where it is.'

'Dammit.' Slamming the drawer told Sam that Dean didn't wake up much happier.

'Shh, you'll wake your brother.'

Sam went to move in before Dean could say anything he didn't want to hear but his next words stopped him.

'I was hard on him last night.'

'Why?'

'I don't know. He just got me all pissed and I let loose on him.'

'When are you two knuckleheads gonna figure out what you do _**to**_ one another is what you do _**for **_one another?'

'Huh?'

'Well, okay, tell me one thing that Sam did – or didn't do that was not in your best interests.'

'I can tell you a hundred things.'

'Can you? Really?' Bobby challenged. 'It may seem like it but if you bothered to look down deep enough, you might just come up with another answer.'

'Okay.' Dean was up for this game. 'He changed plans on me.'

'Were those plans working?

'He gave my cash right to those losers.'

'What would have happened if he didn't?'

'I wanted to wait for you.'

'Why didn't he?'

'Bobby.' Dean crumpled up his face in frustration. Sam couldn't help but smile. God how he loved that old guy. He always had their backs. Always.

'I'm just sayin'. Whatever argument you have, maybe Sam has another one that makes sense.'

When Dean didn't answer, Bobby continued; 'What's the real problem here Dean?'

Dean shook his head and looked away.

'Come on, spit it.'

'You saw the Impala-' he finally said.

Sam swallowed, feeling sorry and sick all over again. Bobby jumped in, 'He didn't mean for that to happen–'

'No, you don't get what I mean. You saw the Impala.' Dean said more definitely.

'Yes, I saw it.'

'Well.' Dean hesitated not wanting to say the words. 'What if –'

'What if they got to Sam instead?' Bobby figured when Dean couldn't continue.

'Bobby, I couldn't take…'

Sam felt tears well in his eyes and took a step forward, willing them to go the hell away. Dean's head snapped up and he spotted his brother.

Sam spoke first. 'You couldn't take it if they got to me like they got to the Impala?' Sam questioned.

'Of course I couldn't.'

Sam nodded. 'Dean they got to you like they got to the Impala.'

Dean frowned taken aback.

'I don't know why you think I can take it happening to you more than you can take it happening to me. I can't. I just can't.'

Silence filled the air, but it wasn't an angry silence, more of an understanding silence, a silence where Dean could finally breathe out and just get it.

He gave Sam a modest smile and nodded. 'Okay.'

Eyes still fixed on each other, Sam nodded as well, satisfied that his brother had understood him. All of his life, he just wanted his brother to understand him.

'You want a coffee?' Bobby asked Sam.

'Yeah, thanks.' He took a seat on the kitchen chair. 'What were you guys looking for anyway?'

'A mallet.' Dean answered beginning his search again, 'Any of them would do. One of them would do.'

'Maybe one is in the truck.' Bobby figured.

'I don't get how you could lose all of them.'

'You aren't going to work on the Impala today are you?' Sam asked noticing Dean moving around better but still slowly enough to see that he was in a bit of pain. He needed at least another day or two before he could even think about doing any kind of manual labor.

'No. You are.' He opened another cupboard and crashed around inside. So much stuff packed in but no sign of what he needed. One of Bobby's problems was that his house was too damn cluttered.

'You're going to tell me what to do though right?' Sam asked.

'Yeah, bang the dents out, change the tires. Hey, maybe we can use something we have.' Dean pondered their hidden weapons in the trunk of the Impala. Thank God those suckers weren't all that sharp. If they had have found them, God, how things could have been different. 'I'm gonna check it out.' He grabbed his keys and marched off out the front.

'He looks better.' Sam said as soon as the front door had shut behind his brother.

'He is. I've given him some stronger painkillers. How are you?'

'Good.' Sam seemed shocked at the question. 'Nothing happened to me.'

'You know what I mean and before you say you're fine, just remember how much you hate it when your brother says that to you. I mean how are you really Sam?'

'I'm okay.' He took a sip of his coffee, 'But I do need to ask you something.'

'What's that?'

'Do you think you could store your alcohol with someone else until we are gone?'

Bobby frowned. 'Do you think that's a good idea?'

'Right now, it's my only idea. You should have seen him when he didn't have any Bobby. It really scared me.'

'And you want to do just that again?'

'Okay, so maybe not all. Maybe if he has one or two a day for a bit?'

'How are you going to control that?'

'I don't know but not having much here is better than having too much right?'

'Well yeah I guess.' Bobby squinted his eyes as he spoke; 'I mean you know I'll do it but he's not going to be happy about it. I can't see him playing nice when he realizes.'

'I know.'

'You ready for that?'

'I have to be.'

oOoOoOo

For once Dean was being a calm and easy going patient. While Sam banged and banged and changed over tires and replaced windows, Dean sat back on an old fold out chair with his legs kicked out, an open can of coke in his hand and a portable stereo at his side while he supervised his brother.

It was obvious to Sam that this was Dean's way of punishing him for acting on revenge. There was no way in the world he would normally just sit this ride out, hurt or not. He would want to be the one to fix his car and to make sure he got her precisely back to the way she was. Not hand over the reins to his younger and inexperienced brother. Yes he was definitely out to teach him a lesson, but today, this time Sam was happy to cop it.

If Dean could understand and even relate to why Sam had gone after those goons, there was no need to get upset or defensive. They were on the same page finally. He knew he had screwed up, knew Dean knew it too but he also knew that if his brother could forgive it, then so could he. Add that to the fact that it was his fault the Impala was like this, it made sense that he should be the one to fix it. Even when Dean ordered him to do it this way and not that way, push harder, move faster, use this tool not that one, Sam could inhale a deep breath and take it.

As long as his brother understood him.

And it seemed like he did. Dean had really heard Sam, really put himself in his shoes and for the first time really thought about how he would have reacted if the roles had have been reversed. Truth was, if what happened to him happened to Sam he would have literally killed the guys. Sam did well to just beat them up. Now that he had finally got it, he could even be a little proud of him.

Still, Sam's anger and need for revenge needed to be controlled. They both knew that all too well from past experiences and Dean was going to be there to do just that whenever the time called for it. There was no way in hell he was just going to stand by and let it take over all over again. No way in hell.

Consequences. Sam learnt by suffering consequences. It was only when his father died, that Sam stopped fighting him, only when his brother told him he no longer trusted him, did he work to win that trust back and only when the devil walked the earth did he try to fix himself – and the world. Sometimes Sam's righteousness took him over but there was nothing quite like dealing with the aftermath to pull Sam right back into line.

So the way Dean figured it, the result of Sam's actions broke the Impala, so it was Sam that had to fix her. Simple. It didn't matter that he didn't have much of an idea on how to do that. That wasn't the point.

The kid was doing okay though. He had the strength and determination behind him and he was never hopeless at much of anything. He just needed a little guidance on the technicalities and the rest came with him. Dean had to will himself not to jump in and help at times. He was feeling okay today too. Those painkillers of Bobby's had kicked in and he was actually feeling relatively human again but he had to take his responsibility on in this as well. He started the whole thing by wiping himself off and messing with people he really shouldn't have messed with. Not fixing and not even physically helping to fix her was enough a punishment for him as it was for Sam. This was the right thing to do for everybody.

'You want some dinner?' Dean asked hours later and getting more than a little stir crazy. Sam was just about to roll himself back under the car with his torch but stopped himself and checked his watch. Seven. He wasn't hungry but it was time and he could do with stopping for the day. This type of work just wasn't for him.

'Yeah, sounds good.'

'Okay. You keep going and I'll go get us some burgers.' He stood himself up while Sam frowned and stood up.

'We can just grab a sandwich here.'

'I don't want a sandwich. I want a burger.'

''You've had nothing but burgers for weeks.'

'Don't exaggerate. Usual?'

'Let's just make something here.'

'Sam, I'm getting a burger, do you want one or not?'

Sam didn't. He really, really didn't. In fact a burger was the last thing he wanted to eat. He was so over them that he would have been happy to never lay eyes on another burger again. 'Okay, I'll come with.'

'No.' Alarm bells continued to ring in Sam's head. 'I'll just be twenty minutes. Just finish off what you are doing and meet me inside.'

'I can do that tomorrow.'

'You can do it now too.'

'Yeah but I'll do it tomorrow. What car are you taking?'

'No, do it now.'

'Why?'

'Because it needs to be done.'

'It can wait.'

'I don't want it to wait.'

Sam looked at Dean. Dean looked at Sam. Both knew exactly what the other was thinking.

'I'll be twenty minutes.' Dean was the first to speak.

'Great. I'll come. Someone's got to hold the cokes right?'

'No, see, news flash, they have these things called drink holders -'

'Dean.'

'What?'

'Let's just go okay?'

'Fine. Go ask Bobby what he wants.' Dean sighed. 'And grab the keys to the Ford.'

It wasn't until Sam reached Bobby in the kitchen that he heard the sound. The sound of one of the cars starting up.

'Dammit!'

'What?' Bobby asked looking up from mashing potatoes.

'What kind of beer do you want?' Sam asked him with a sigh.


	11. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

'Goddammit, where is he?' Sam exclaimed yet again as he stepped out of the fourth bar. The clock had just ticked over to nine fifty- five and there was still no word from Dean. His phone was turned off and there was no way to contact him other than going out to look for him. He didn't know if Dean had paid anyone off or what but no one was giving him any hint of information regarding where his brother might be. Surely someone must have seen him in their travels. Surely! But no one was talking and it was beginning to stress Sam out.

'Anything?' Sam asked once again calling Bobby who was waiting at home.

'Nothin'. I've called around all I can. Nobody knows nothin'. Maybe he drove out of town.'

'Looks like.'

'Come back Sam. I've got people primed to call if anyone sees him.'

'I'm just gonna go to the next town.'

'In which direction? Bobby questioned sarcastically.

'Every direction.'

Knowing there was no talking him out of it; Bobby sighed and said, 'I'll call you if I hear anything.'

'Please.'

Hours went by and Sam continued his search, constantly checking every nook, every bar, every school and every park he came across. Bobby hadn't rung, Dean hadn't rung and still nobody had seen anything. The younger Winchester was just about out of his mind with worry. Thoughts of Dean doing something stupid; whether it be drunk driving, getting into another fight, being involved in an accident or even just passing out in a ditch alone kept running through his head. He had to get to him and had to get to him quick, but he just could not find him.

So he kept on driving and swearing and stressing.

It was after three-thirty in the morning when Sam's phone lit up signaling a call. He didn't look at who was calling, just answered with a 'Bobby?'

'Sam.' That wasn't Bobby's voice. It was Dean's….Dean's drunk voice.

'Where are you? Are you okay?'

'Rock.' Was all he said.

'Rock? What? Dean what do you mean?'

'Rock.. Split.'

'Rock Split? You're in Split Rock? The town?'

'No.' His voice was getting smaller. 'Yes. No. I dunno.'

'Dean?'

'Street. Road-'

'What?' Sam frowned. 'You are in a street in Split Rock? What Street?'

Silence.

'Dean, are you there?' Silence. 'Dean?'

Sam dropped his phone on his lap and pulled over into a side street and placed Dean's call on hold. He called Bobby and became frustrated when the phone rang out. He tried again with the same result. He then connected to the internet and waited for Google to load. He was so intent on waiting for the page that he didn't even hear the group of teenagers stepping up to his car.

When they banged on the hood, he almost jumped out of his skin. Oh for God's sake this was the last thing he needed. The very last thing. He gave them a quick, dry smile to say 'very funny' and then hoped they would keep passing. When they didn't, he rolled down his windows and said to the five of them 'Hey guys, Split Rock. '

One of the teenagers pulled a face that told Sam he was amazed at his nerve. He wanted to scare him and this guy didn't seem very scared. Another guy answered. 'What about it?'

'A street?' Sam replied, his mind swirling. He took his eyes off the guys and turned his attention back to the phone. The page still hadn't loaded.

'My brother said something about a street?' He knew he sounded ridiculous and most of them just glared at him in confusion but he had to try. One answered.

'You mean Split Rock Circle? Split Rock Road?'

'There's a road?'

'Yeah in Sioux Falls.'

'That would be it.'

'Got a pen?'

When Sam had returned to Dean's call, the same silence greeted him. He had tried Bobby again but he hadn't picked up. He was a bit confused at this street and needed some help other than a rough pen sketch from a stranger and Google maps. What was with the Road and the Circle bit? Maybe it wouldn't matter; it looked like it was the same road anyway. It would just help if Bobby would answer the phone so he wouldn't have to worry about him as well.

Within half an hour he was back in Sioux Falls and turning into the road. He had no idea where Dean would be so kept an eye out for one of Bobby's old beat up cars. Half way down he came across what he was sure would have to be it parked out the front of a two storey house. Sam pulled up right behind it and jumped out of the car and over to Dean's. The driver's side door was open but Dean was not in there, he was nowhere to be seen. Great! Sam pulled out his phone and dialed Dean's number hoping the ringtone would locate him. Silence.

'Dean!' Sam called not sure what else he could do. He was sorry that he was probably waking up the neighborhood with his booming voice but he really didn't have another choice. 'Dean!'

He scrutinized the area. It was more built up than he thought it would be which in a way made it harder. Was he really going to have to search people's homes? At least, he hoped, it would have been a safer area for his brother than the inside or outside of a bar.

'Sam.' Finally he heard his name. He spun around and when he couldn't see his brother, waited.

'Sam.'

He followed the sound with his eyes and spotted Dean stumbling and almost tripping down a drive way of a house two doors down. Sam bolted over to him, conscious that his own heart was racing faster. He looked okay, thank God. Drunk but okay.

'Couldn't start the car.' Dean welcomed him with a slur.

'Good.' Sam said helping him towards the Ford. 'That's really good. Come on.' Once Dean was belted in, Sam locked up the other car but not before noticing the too many empty bottles littering the inside. His brother had definitely gone on one hell of a bender that was for damn sure.

Before Sam even started the ignition, Dean was out cold, his body slumped and his head leaning against the window. His shirt and jeans were patched wet and dotted with blades of glass. Sam guessed he had passed out on someone's lawn sometime during the night. What a nice surprise that would have been for someone to wake up to in the morning.

Once Sam entered Bobby's house with Dean in tow he saw the reason why Bobby hadn't answered the phone. Bobby was out himself, sitting upright on Dean's bed and an empty bottle of whiskey fallen at his feet on the floor next to him.

'Sit' Sam said to the half asleep Dean. 'Bobby, wake up. Bobby.' After the third strong shake Bobby came to.

'You found him.'

'Yeah, no thanks to you.' He picked up the bottle. 'What the hell is this? You too?'

'Yeah, me too.' Bobby said sarcastically standing up. 'That bottle was half empty.'

'Not anymore.'

'Need any help with him? Is he okay?'

'No, it's fine, he's fine. I've got it.'

Only nodding, Bobby pulled himself over to the stairs and made his way slowly and not so straightly up to his room.

Undressing Dean and getting him under the covers was the easy part. Cleaning up his vomit time and time again; not so easy. It seemed just as he cleaned one lot, Dean would just throw up all over again, most of the time missing the damn bucket. Sam was out of towels, serviettes and furniture cleaner. It just wouldn't stop. All night. The fustration, the job and the never ending effort was almost bringing Sam to tears.

'You get any shut eye?' Bobby frowned at noon when he entered the room. Dean had finally fallen asleep properly and Sam had just finished washing his hands… again.

'No.' He ran a hand through his hair and sat down on the floor. He was beat.

'You should have called me.'

'You wouldn't have been much help.' He didn't say it meanly, just resigned to the fact that a drunk guy couldn't really help another drunk guy.

'I wasn't that bad.'

'I was trying to call you last night.' Sam rubbed his eye, 'You didn't pick up.'

Bobby's frown indicated that he was surprised at that. He hadn't heard the phone at all. 'I'm sorry, I didn't hear it.'

Sam nodded, depressed that the two most important people in his life were drunks. Bobby picked up on this and spoke. 'Sam I was just drinking for the sake of it. You don't need to worry yourself about me.'

Sam looked over at his sleeping and pale brother. 'Bobby I need your help on this one. You know that right?'

'I know. I'm here.'

'You can't be writing yourself off when we are trying to clean him up.'

'You want me to stop drinking? Done.'

Sam closed his eyes knowing that was as impossible as getting Dean to stop just like that. There was no miracle switch.

'I mean it. Done.' Bobby continued, not feeling too great about himself. He prided himself on always being there for these two boys , he loved being there for these two boys, there was nothing as important to him than that and to think he had not been, even for one night tore at his guts. 'Let's go pack up this alcohol and get it out of the house.'

'He'll just do what he did last night. Make up any excuse and go out and get it.'

'So you don't want to?'

'Yeah I want to. I just have to think of something else as well.'

'One thing at a time. Come on, help me load this and I'll drive it over to Jack's. Then you can get some sleep.'

'I can't sleep. What if he wakes up and does it all over again?'

'Sam you need to sleep. I won't be gone long and I can look after him.'

Sam didn't say it but Bobby knew what he was thinking. A big fat 'No you can't'. There was no way Sam was going to risk that after Bobby had drunk himself to the point of passing out as well. No, instead he was going to take it all on himself and play Superman all over again and try to save them both at the same time …even though he didn't quite know how to. Bobby knew exactly what he was thinking. These two boys were like his sons and these two boys were so alike they were readable.

'Come on.' He pushed, causing Sam to finally move.

oOoOoOo

'Sam.' Dean had woken while Bobby was still out on his delivery. Sam had heard him from the kitchen, instantly stopped making their salad sandwiches and moved to check on him. Dean was sitting up at least but his face was in his hands, his elbows on his knees. Sam grabbed the aspirin from the window sill on his way past and handed him the rest of his can of coke. Dean took them without argument and without looking at Sam, handed back the can.

'How're you feeling?'

'Like crap.'

Sam sat on the chair and shook his head. Yesterday they were finally in sync again. Now, today, there was a tension back in the air. He hated it more than anything but he was so angry, upset, annoyed and let down that he just couldn't control himself.

'It stops now, okay?' Dean promised still not looking up at his brother. 'I swear.'

Sam didn't answer, he didn't move. He wasn't waiting for Dean to continue; he was just at a loss as to what to do and what to feel. Where was his determination, that willpower he had? There was no way he was giving up; he was just too damn depressed to locate the drive at that moment.

'I don't even know how it happened. I was on my way to get a burger-'

'No, don't even.' Sam finally spoke. 'No you weren't. You were going out to drink and you know it. Don't lie about it Dean.'

'Not that much.' He managed to lift his head and make eye contact with his tired and worn out brother and felt even worse. 'Did you eat? Last night?'

'That didn't worry you then, why should it worry you now?'

'Sam, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say.'

'I made us lunch. I'll just bring it out.'

Dean's hangover was hell. A form of hell, however disappointing Sam like that felt even worse. He wasn't feeling guilty as much for drinking, but more for telling his brother he was going out for twenty minutes to get him some food and instead put the beer ahead of that. At the time he justified it by knowing Sam wouldn't go hungry. Bobby's shelves were stocked as much as a single guy's shelves could be stocked. Sam could eat. That wasn't an issue at the time…but now it was. Sam had been waiting for him and then looking for him and then caring for him all while Dean had done whatever the hell he wanted to do. That wasn't the way it was supposed to be. Dean couldn't live with that. Especially with the way Sam was looking at him now.

He took hold of the plate with the sandwich and said a soft; 'Thanks.'

Sam simply took a bite of his own and glanced out the window his focus landing on a smaller bird chasing a larger one.

'Where's Bobby?'

'Getting rid of all the alcohol that was in the house.' Sam said before shifting his eyes down to his stunned brother.

'You're kidding?'

'Why would I be kidding?'

'I just told you I was stopping myself didn't I?'

'Yep.'

'So I don't need you to do that.'

'It's done.'

'So Bobby can't have a drink either? Nice Sam.'

'Bobby doesn't need a drink, just like you don't.'

'I said I'm giving up.'

'Great, so no alcohol in the place shouldn't worry you then.'

'It doesn't.'

'Awesome.'


	12. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Sam was struggling to keep his eyes open while he was under the Impala. If he could have just fallen asleep right then and there he would have, no question. The only thing stopping him was Dean's legs. He had to keep making sure Dean was around, that he hadn't taken off again and the only way he could do that from this position was to keep an eye on his legs. Well, that and listen to his not so polite complaining.

'You want to hurry up? The way you are going we'll be here this time next year. I don't know about you, but I'd like to get back on the road sometime this decade.'

Like he had the right to be pissed. What did he expect Sam to do? Just happily surround him in all the alcohol he could swim in? After last night he should get it. If he was that serious about not writing himself off again then really, what was the problem?

He knew what the problem was because he had gone through the problem himself. The shakes, the craving and everything else that went with it. Maybe Dean was only experiencing a hangover right now but both Sam and he knew that was probably going to be the best it got. To give up the alcohol meant some real tough times ahead and he knew himself how hard and daunting that could be. He started to feel sorry for his brother.

'Put some effort into it Sam, come on.'

Then he got pissed all over again.

'Here, let me do it.' The legs were moving over to him.

'I can do it.'

'Then do it! Hurry up.'

Sam rolled himself out from under the car and sat up, glaring hard up at his brother who by now was standing over him. 'Want to quit with the attitude?'

'No, not really.'

'Why not?'

'Because I want you to hurry the hell up.'

'I am going as fast as I can.'

'Nothing about what you are doing is fast.'

'Just….let me do it.' With a huff he rolled himself back under her and picked up the mallet by mistake.

'Dude, what the hell?'

Sam merely dropped the mallet and picked up the wrench.

'Concentrate!'

'Shut up.'

'Just do it right. She doesn't need anything else going wrong with her.'

'So I see you guys are getting along.' Bobby announced as he stepped up to stand beside Dean.

'Did you get the car back?' Dean asked him trying to cover up his shame for taking one of his vehicles and leaving her in the middle of nowhere. He could remember only a few things from the night before and that was the main one.

'Yeah, it's out front. Jack drove her back.' Bobby peered underneath the Impala at Sam, 'How's it going under there?'

'Slowly.' Dean answered for his brother.

Sam could only roll his eyes as he continued to work. Bobby motioned for Dean to follow him. They stepped back over to Dean's fold out chair, out of Sam's earshot but still close enough for him to see that they were still around.

'You're pissed at him.' Bobby said straight out to Dean.

'I just want him to hurry up. We should be out there doing our job and he is taking his sweet ass time.'

'That's probably because he didn't get a wink of sleep.'

Guilt slapped Dean right across his face, but he didn't say anything, just folded his arms and let out a sigh. He spotted a funny looking kind of stone and thought about picking it up. He was feeling too sick for that though and his head was pounding. If he even tried to lean over, he was sure it would turn into a migraine.

'Dean.' He heard Bobby start, 'He was out all night looking for you and then from what I can tell, up all night cleaning up after you.'

Dean frowned. 'Cleaning up? Oh.' Yes now more of it was coming back.

'Yeah. 'Oh'. Not the best job in the world.'

Bobby was happy enough to let that sit with the older of the two and left him to it, going inside to check on dinner heating in the slow cooker. He would pick a time later on to broach the whole alcohol issue. Right now he wanted these boys to start working together instead of against each other. That was the only way either of them could get through this with any kind of success. He was determined not to let them fall back into their old habits. They already should have been though the other side of them with everything that had happened. Why were they falling back? Was it just who they were as people that nothing could change them, not even the most extreme situations and obstacles? It didn't seem likely but nevertheless it was playing out right in front of his eyes.

They needed professional help, that's what they needed but they weren't able to get any. How could they? Their stories, their problems, their every day happenings weren't like other people's. The only help they had were each other and Bobby. That was basically it and that, Bobby thought, could have been the problem. Two men with huge issues constantly trying to pull the other up without paying too much attention to themselves - and another one who was there trying to help but not always around. It was a hard task and one that was easy to fail. The fact that they were still pushing on was something huge though. They had both broken and pulled back up and then broken again. It was never-ending and it was always raw. All that they had been through, it did make them stronger, but it also made them more damaged.

Instead of saying anything to Sam, Dean sat back down in his chair and opened another can of coke. Sam noticed but didn't ask for one. He was tired, exhausted and thirsty but he kept on working, just grateful Dean had stopped nagging at him. It was only when Dean had time alone to think and throw his can, missing the trash that he realized Sam hadn't had a drink in hours. Or anything to eat.

'Sammy. Enough. Come and get a drink.'

Sam bit his lip. What he wanted to do was make a sarcastic remark about how that would hold him up some more but he was too thirsty and shattered to start another argument. So he stood up and moved over to his brother who handed him a can from the melting ice.

'Thanks.'

The Impala, Dean noticed, was looking better than the two of them put together and she was still trashed. This wasn't a good thing.

'We should grab an early night tonight.' Dean suggested noticing Sam's instant suspicion burst to life. 'Both of us.'

Sam nodded but wasn't convinced. When he heard things like that now, it scared him. How was he going to sleep? He had to, he knew that, but when and how and what if when he did Dean snuck out and completely wrecked himself again and something terrible happened? Dean would have driven drunk if he could have last night, could have easily killed himself – or someone else – or both. No, he couldn't sleep. How could he sleep?

'Boy, how the tables turn with us.' Dean said raising his eyebrows knowing exactly what Sam had been thinking. Sam didn't reply, just took a gulp of his coke and glanced around the yard seeing nothing but a blurred haze. It had to be after eight. His stomach was rumbling but all he felt like doing was dropping where he stood. He had had less sleep than this and worked harder on top but today he was hurting.

'Come on. Let's go in and see what Bobby's doing for dinner.'

He followed his brother in and sat at the kitchen table. He willed himself to offer Bobby some help with stirring some rice or some such thing but he couldn't muster the energy. He just sat wondering how on earth he was going to ever sleep again and more importantly how he was going to stop Dean from beating this addiction.

'Poltergeist in Minnesota.' Dean announced minutes later taking a closer look at the newspaper he was reading.

'It says that?' Sam frowned, rubbing his eye for the hundredth time.

'No, it doesn't say that-' Dean looked up at his brother incredulously. 'but it's pretty obvious. "Teenage boy speaks of horror as invisible force kills parents."'

'You should call Tony or one of the other hunters then.'

'Why? We can do it.'

'What?'

'Why not?'

'Ahh, because you're hurt and hung-over.'

'I'm fine and I won't be hung-over tomorrow. We can leave in the morning and make it by nightfall.'

'No.' Sam scowled. 'No way.'

'Dude we'll go, kill it and then come back. Two days. Easy.'

'Someone else can.'

'It's our job.'

'We're on vacation. Call someone else.'

'Vacation?'

'Yes. Vacation.' Sam looked over at Bobby who was contemplating disappearing out the back as he dished up dinner. He was being absolutely no help.

'Sam, we don't do vacations.'

'Well, now we do.' Sam was in a mood. He didn't want another argument, he didn't want to go out on a hunt and he didn't want Dean to keep talking. He just wanted to sleep.

'Says you?'

'Yeah, says me.'

Bobby placed Sam and Dean's plates in front of them. A kind of lamb stew and rice which would usually appear quite appetizing, yet Sam only wanted to push it away.

'It's not only up to you.' Dean went on.

'Well, I'm not going and you aren't going by yourself.' Sam said picking up his fork and moving a carrot slice around his plate.

'Maybe I'll go.' Bobby said sitting down at the table with his own dinner. 'I can call Bill Shaw. He lives in Minnesota.'

'Great.' Sam nodded. 'Good idea.'

Dean shook his head and stabbed one of his lamb squares with his fork, unimpressed. He wanted out of there. No, first he wanted sleep and to get over this headache, then he wanted out of there. He felt like doing something – killing something – just doing something.

'You going to eat any of that?' Bobby asked Sam after five long minutes of silence and five long minutes of Sam playing with his food.

'No, sorry.' Dropping the fork on top, he pushed the plate away and stood up. 'I need some air.'

'You need some sleep.'

'I need some air first.'

'Bobby cooked that for you.' Dean frowned, 'Least you can do is eat it.'

'And the least you can do is shut the hell up!' Sam took a breath seeing how Dean was taken aback by his outburst. 'Sorry.' He turned to Bobby; 'Can I eat it tomorrow?'

'Sure thing.' Bobby gave him a supportive smile much to Sam's relief.

'Sorry.' He repeated to Dean and stepped out the front to get his air.

'He needs some damn sleep.' Bobby said when Dean only gave him a questioning look.

'We all do.'

'He's had a stressing couple of days.'

'We all have.'

'Yeah but you got your escape last night didn't you?'

'I don't want to cop that though. I told him I'm going to stop and I am. He doesn't have to take it out on me like that. It's my problem and he needs to let me deal with it.'

'It don't work like that and you know it.'

'So what? I just take his crap?'

'What crap?'

'His attitude.'

'He's trying to help you Dean. He just doesn't know how to so he is winging it. You of all people should know how frustrating that can be.'

'No way. Do not compare my drinking to his demon blood. It is not the same thing, not even close.'

'It is to him.'

'Then –' Dean started, 'that's just –' He gave a sigh, 'he –' and relaxed. 'Okay, fine. I'll go talk to him.'

'That's all I ask.'

'I'm taking my frickin' dinner with me.' Dean growled snatching up his plate and almost losing some of it to the floor.

'And your coke.' Bobby picked it up and handed it over his head to him as he stepped past gruffly.

'And his.' Dean let a smile form as he turned back and picked up his brothers half-full can and placed it on top of his. Bobby had gotten through, already he was relaxing and wanting to sort this out. Stupid kid was driving himself to the wall.

Sam was standing in an empty space, the breeze blowing through his hair, just staring forward at nothing. It was a cool night but warm enough to just be. He didn't even notice Dean placing the cans on the ground and taking a seat on the stairs until he heard the clinking of fork scraping plate. He turned around and looked at his brother.

'Brought you out your coke. Come get it.' Dean said wanting him closer so they could settle into a comfortable conversation.

Sam obliged already calming himself.

'You okay?' Dean asked him.

'Yeah. I'm just tired. Sorry I snapped.'

'Sorry about last night.'

'Dude, I'm worried.' Sam admitted squatting down. 'We beat the devil, we saved the world, we've gone back to doing exactly what we wanted to do, yet here we are losing it all over again. It scares me. I don't want to go down that road again.'

'We're not.'

'It feels like we are.'

'There's no angels dicking with us anymore. We can't even contact Cas-'

'No, I don't mean that.'

'Then what?' Dean hadn't even taken a bite of his food.

'You and me. This is about you and me. You drinking, me getting pissed off. Both of us at each other.'

'Sam, we're brothers. We're always going to be at each other.'

'I know.'

'Dude, we just got to look at it different. You're not going anywhere right?'

'Right.'

'And either am I. That's what was missing before.'

'And trust.'

'Well, we got that back.' Dean said before realizing what he had said. He looked at his brother carefully who broke eye contact and turned his head towards his feet. Dean's face dropped and he fought to swallow the lump in his throat; 'You can trust me.'

'Dude, I can't trust you to stay in Bobby's house, how can I trust you when we are out on a job or something? This drinking is bad news. The job we do, it's too dangerous and I just keep getting the feeling like something really bad is going to happen to you if you keep going.'

'I told you I am quitting.' Dean said determined. His stomach churned. His little brother didn't trust him and man, being on the other side of that coin didn't feel real good at all.

'We _are_ going around again aren't we? Just this time, it's me and not you.' he said.

'Pretty much.'

'Okay, look. It stops now. No more. I promise you.'

'You can't promise me that.'

'No? Watch me.'

Sam shook his head.

'Dude, I don't want this happening to us again either and I will do anything to stop it. I swear to you.'

'You swear you won't drink again?'

'If that's what it takes.'

'I just want you to be able to stop at one or two. Even three.'

'Whatever it takes.' Dean said with a look of determination that Sam could almost believe. 'Let me prove it to you.'

Nodding because he at least owed him that, Sam said, 'Okay,' willing to throw his belief back into his brother, for his brother, because that is what his brother had done for him. 'It's going to suck for you though.'

'I know, but I'm used to things sucking for me, aren't I?'

'Yeah.' Sam smiled.

'Good man. You just got to remember whatever happens, no matter what, even if we want to tear each other's hair out, we're brothers and nothing can change that. Not even the devil, angels, blood, beer or the end of the world.'

'Okay but you just got to remember I'm here to help. You gotta let me help you.'

'Deal.'

_(To be continued…)_


	13. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The next night, Dean felt like a drink, the night after that he felt like more drinks and the night after that he was just about at the stage where he was thinking about hot wiring another car.

Sam and he had been getting along, most of his pain had gone and they were even working on the Impala together. Days ago, Bobby had taken off on his hunting trip to Minnesota so they had been enjoying the place to themselves. Everything was good – or it should have been – or it would have been if Dean's hands weren't shaking, if his head wasn't pounding and if his willpower wasn't waning.

Sam had been noticing the signs. Dean usually wasn't one to sweat but lately, he was outdoing Sam. He had been in an alright mood, still snappy on occasion but usually not bad considering. Now though Sam had been watching as his brother's face was progressively becoming tighter and the clench in his jaw more frequent. Dean was definitely hitting withdrawals and as time went on, it was getting worse rather than better.

'Feel like going to a movie?' Sam asked him when Dean began to pace and flick his fingers. They needed something to distract him. After dinner was his most confronting and challenging time.

'No.'

'We could check out who's playing at the local-'

'At the local McDonalds? I can't go to a bar can I?'

'What about a drive?' Sam tried sitting forward in his chair.

'The only time I drive one of Bobby's cars is if it's for a reason, not for a drive.'

'Then what do you want to do?'

'Have a drink.'

Sam nodded. Dean's shoulders relaxed instantly feeling for his brother. 'It's okay Sam. I'm not going to.'

'I know.' Sam said wracking his brain for another solution. Dean had been so motivated the last couple of nights that it had been kind of easy to relax in the hope that he could beat this. It was never out of Sam's mind that they had one mother of a task on their hands, not even for a second, but it had been kind of easy.

Of course that wasn't going to last and here they were. The time had come for them to confront this sucker head on. Sam was proud of Dean though. He wasn't hiding out, wasn't demanding to be alone, wasn't shutting down and wasn't drinking.

'You're doing really well.' Sam said in the hope that encouraging him might help, but he also knew it was a risk. Sometimes Dean found it condescending rather than inspiring.

'You think? Dude if it wasn't for you sitting here and Bobby and his parting speech, I would be out of here and drinking up a storm.'

'No you wouldn't.'

'Yes I would.'

'Even after your promise?'

'Yes.' Dean said with honesty about him. 'No…I don't know.' He continued to pace. Sam continued to watch him. 'Dammit.' He wiped some sweat from his forehead and flicked his fingers some more. His shaking was becoming stronger and Sam knew it was because his anxiety was increasing. He had to try to calm him down.

'Come on, let's go for a drive. I'll drive and you just listen to some tunes okay?'

'That's not going to fix this.'

'It could distract you.'

'Sam.' Dean said leaning his hands on the back of his brother's chair, finally breaking, 'What about just one? Just to ease me off it. Okay? Just one.'

Sam wasn't sure. He had always thought that weaning him off would be better than just cutting him off completely, but the mere thought terrified him. What if he let him drink that one and that one turned into twenty more? He didn't want to risk it, he couldn't risk it. His brother had been doing so great and at the moment he wasn't going to be able to stop at just one was he?

'One won't hurt. Just one tonight and that's it.' Dean tried again.

'You have one and you've ruined everything and you'll just have to start all over again. You just have to ride it out.' Sam said making the decision for the both of them.

'Ride it out? Ride it out.' He pushed off from the chair and returned to pacing around astounded that Sam suggested he just ride it out.

'Dean I know it's hard and it feels impossible right now, but you can do this. You can.'

'It doesn't feel like it. Seriously.'

'I know, but you can.' Sam stood up. 'I'll get you a coke.'

'I'm sick of coke.'

'A water then.'

'Water? Are you kidding me? You think water is going to do it?' Dean looked at him although he had lost his mind.

'Worth a try.'

'Not really. I can already tell you that.'

'Then what? Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate?'

'Beer, whiskey…'

'See dude, you gotta stop thinking like that. It's not an option right? So think of something else. Give me something, anything that can distract you from this and we'll do it.'

Sam felt relieved when he saw Dean thinking. That was a start at least. He waited. Dean kept thinking. He waited. Dean kept thinking.

'Anything.' Sam tried.

'There's nothing! I just want a damn drink. I can't think of anything else right now.'

'Okay, grab your jacket; we're going to a movie.' Sam insisted picking the keys from one of the hooks and grabbing some cash from one of the hidden jars. Getting him out of there and away from a place where he usually always had a beer in hand was the damn good start they needed. When he didn't follow, Sam turned and said, 'Come on.'

Dean gave a reluctant frown and sigh but followed. 'I want a cool car. If we gotta drive one of these pieces of crap scrap metal, I want the coolest one.'

Sam didn't answer, he just kept walking over to the one he grabbed the keys for and opened the passenger side door for his brother.

'You gonna get our music? I'm not listening to some crap radio station.' Dean said once he was sure this one had a cassette deck and just as Sam had taken his seat.

'Sure.' Sam smiled sweetly as he judged the Impala at about twenty feet away. Surely no flight risk possible there.

Thankfully Dean didn't try to make any kind of great escape while Sam had stepped away from the car and within minutes, they were out on the road with AC/DC kind of blasting through the not so fantastic speakers.

'I'm no expert,' Sam said when they took their seats in front of the big screen, ' but I'm thinking if you get through tonight, you're halfway there.'

'Halfway? Fantastic.' Dean whispered conscious of the crowd forming around him. He himself noticed how the popcorn he was holding was trembling, how he couldn't wipe the sweat from himself because he hadn't yet put down his coke and how the thought of actually eating made him want to throw up. The last place he wanted to be was where he was. He was doing it for Sam, because Sam was doing this for him. That was it, that was the only reason, but would that last? Could it? All he could think about was beer. Sitting in the Impala, the music blaring from his newly installed stereo and downing a damn beer. If he could just have some, just one …or two, he would feel better. And he would stop tomorrow, he would. Tomorrow was a Monday; fresh week, fresh start. He could do it on a Monday.

'I can't do this.' Dean told his surprised brother. 'I'm sorry Sam, but I just can't sit here and …do this.'

'Dean-'

Dean was up and moving through the aisle not caring who he bumped on his way through, not willing to hear what Sam wanted to say and not willing to be talked into staying. He had to get back to Bobby's and just have one. Sam followed throwing his popcorn and drink into the trash. He wasn't going to make a scene in public but he wasn't going to let him go anywhere except for their car.

Once outside, he half expected Dean to make a detour straight to the local bar – or the local store. Dean was on a mission. There was no slowing him and Sam found himself grateful that his pain from the beating must have all but subsided. That was something at least. Another something was that Dean didn't try anything crazy and actually walked straight to the car, only speaking when Sam started the ignition.

'You gotta get me something man. I swear tomorrow will be different. '

'No.' Sam said plainly yet definitely.

'Just a few. Look, I'm not going to a bar, I don't want a lot.'

'No.'

'Dude, I am really trying here, I am and I am not going behind your back. I am being upfront with you just like you wanted. You said you would help me and I am asking for your help.'

'You are asking me to help you to drink, not asking me to help you to stop. I can't do that.'

'Sam. Just hear me out-'

'We're going for a drive.' Sam took off at lightning speed, drowning out his brother's argument by switching up the volume and the static to the loudest it could go. Which wasn't so loud, but it helped. Dean was so mortified by the crackle destroying his beloved music that he took the time to eject the cassette and turn the volume right back down

'That's usually me doing that.' Sam joked knowing he needed to be much funnier than that to distract his quickly-losing-it older brother.

'What's the big deal? All I am asking for is one. Just stop here Sam. Here, just pull over. Dammit!'

All Sam knew to do was keep driving. If he kept driving Dean couldn't get out or stop or buy any frickin alcohol of any frickin kind. He would just have to sit where he was and they could work on this together. Somehow.

What did Dean do for him when Sam was in the thick of his addiction? Think back. The panic room. He could never forget the panic room but he had to give the idea some merit. It might have been his hell on earth but when he was locked in there, it had certainly stopped his ability to go out and get some more, put an end to succumbing to the weakness addiction brought and had forced the withdrawals to play out right inside of him without any chance or choice of escape. God that was hell. He felt sick at the memory. No, he could never let his brother go through that, no matter how different it could be.

He had to try something else.

Driving was what he had so far. Driving was _**all**_ he had so far and so driving was what he was doing.

'You're gonna run out of fuel.' Dean remarked checking the fuel gage relieved at what he saw. Less than a quarter full.

'Dammit Bobby!' Sam exclaimed out aloud, slamming the steering wheel.

'Dude, it isn't even that much of a big deal. You and me just one drink. Just like we always do.'

Sam didn't respond. Dean could see the stress marking his face but a kind of peace was rushing through him. He was going to get his drink and it was going to be okay. It would make him feel better and it would make Sam feel better. He would see.

'You might as well turn around now-' Dean said to him. Sam flicked the cassette back in, turned the volume back up and throughout all the noise that was abusing his ears tried to come up with another solution.

After minutes of aimlessly driving to destination nowhere, he made the decision. He just had to drive home. Bobby and he had cleared the house of any alcohol; Sam had even done a final check over again before Bobby had driven it off just in case. There had been none left. It was all gone. If they could get back home maybe he could somehow stop Dean from leaving again. That was the only way he could see. Simple plan really but what had stopped him from doing that in the first place was knowing how determined and unstoppable his brother could be.

Sam turned around; Dean smiled to himself but hid his pleasure by not saying a word. That place was never alcohol free. Never.

The thought of Bobby caused the man's parting words to ring through his head, _'You just keep fighting, do you hear me? And you don't do it for Sam or for me, you do it for yourself. If you need help, you ask for it. You're brother is here to do just that and I am only a phone call away. You gotta remember that, don't forget it. You need support and you take it. You don't have to do it on your own. '_

He looked over at his brother and saw the tension in his shoulders, those puppy dog eyes full of worry and fear and the frown at its most intense.

The guys would understand when he had proved his way was the best way to deal with it all. It might be tough on Sam now, he might not get it just yet, but when Dean could feel better he could take it all on better. He had to be strong to fight this and nothing about him felt strong right then. Everything that was happening to him, all that he was feeling was just robbing him of his willpower and strength of mind. How could he even think about controlling this when he couldn't control his own body?

Kudos for Sam for trying though but Dean knew himself better than anyone. Cold Turkey wasn't going to work. He had to have one or two for awhile, otherwise he would just binge out and go ballistic. No, this was definitely the right thing to do. If you deprive yourself of something you really want, all you do is want it all the more. If he could train himself to drink in moderation, he would not need to binge…or crave...God, he hoped Bobby had beer somewhere – or Whiskey. He preferred beer at the moment though. So he hoped Bobby had beer.

Bobby had left Sam with some of his own words of encouragement, _'If anyone can get through to him it's you. You know it's gonna be tough but you deal with tough every day. But Sam, if you need me, you call me. Same goes for him. Make sure he knows that.'_

He hadn't made sure Dean had known that. Maybe Dean needed to know that.

'We should call Bobby.' Sam suggested when he opened the front door of the house. 'See if they're any closer to killing the thing.'

'Yeah, you do that. I'm taking a shower.'

'He'd want to talk to you more than me. See how're you're doing.' Sam tried willing himself not to follow.

'Tell him I'm doing fine.' Dean smiled walking backwards and holding out his arms. 'I am. I'm doing fine.'

_(To be continued…) _


	14. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Sam felt ten times of guilt when he put his ear to the bathroom door. Sure the shower was running, sure Dean was in there but he did not doubt there was an ulterior motive going down right under his nose. Dean went from desperate to content in a matter of seconds. Something was not right.

He would have hated Dean spying on him like that - with a passion. Man, he could feel his blood pressure rising just thinking about it. He hated doing it to his brother and wished he didn't have to but he justified it by telling himself he was, well…justified.

Dean wasn't one to welcome emotional suffocation either. Sam had to tread lightly. If Dean even had an inkling Sam was this close, and watching him this intently, he would probably start throwing punches. So the very second the water was shut off, Sam crept away into the next room pretending he was folding laundry even though it had already been folded. As he listened to every noise his brother made, he folded and refolded the same already clean clothes time and time again. Dean wouldn't notice, he wasn't all that into laundry.

Not so long after, Dean surfaced from the bathroom wearing the same clothes he had on before. Sam thought about offering him some fresh underwear, jeans and a t-shirt out of the stack he was working on but noticed his unaware brother checking down the stairs to where he thought Sam would be. Once Dean was sure his brother was out of sight, he made his way to Bobby's bedroom and closed the door quietly behind him oblivious to Sam's eyes following his every move.

Here we go.

He was definitely looking for alcohol. Damn it to hell.

Thank God, Sam thought, this was one of the main rooms he had covered with a fine tooth comb. It wasn't rare that Bobby drank in his room; there was always a bottle in there. That was the sole reason Sam had gone over it and then over it again. Just to be certain.

It was going to be interesting to see where Dean went next. What room he would choose if he thought Sam was downstairs in the kitchen or the living room. Imagine if they had left some alcohol in the place. Sam wondered what he would have done if he was confronted with Dean and a bottle.

Clink.

Sam frowned.

Clink.

Sam dropped the clothes and stepped as quietly as he could to the doorway. Silence. Okay, hang on a damn second. What the hell? He could definitely hear some slush. Yes, there was some definite slush going on.

Without any more hesitation and feeling sick at the thought of what he was going to see, he moved straight across to Bobby's room and opened the door. His worst fear played out right in front of his eyes as he watched the back of Dean guzzling from a bottle of whiskey.

Sam leant against the doorway, crossed his arms and attempted to calm himself,'Thirsty?'

Dean stopped drinking and swung around faster than Sam had ever seen him move, his eyes bigger than they had ever been. He looked from Sam to his bottle and back to Sam.

There was just under half left.

'Here.' Dean handed the bottle to Sam in surrender. Sam felt like not taking it just to add to his guilt but his brother's interests was of most importance so Sam pushed himself from the door jamb and stepped forward. He reached out and took the bottle from him.

They both stood back and looked at each other; one's eyes full of guilt and shame and the other 's full of anguish and disappointment

Simply turning and stepping out of the room and into the bathroom while making sure Dean could see him, or at least hear him – or both, Sam poured the rest of the whiskey down the sink and made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen, throwing the bottle into the trash and picking up the phone.

Bobby answered on the third ring.

'Hello?'

'Any more you have hidden or was it just the one?'

'Sam?' he asked confused.

'Yes, it's Sam. I just found Dean drinking from one of your bottles, so I ask you, was that the only one or is there more?'

'Oh no.'

'Yep.'

'Okay, just calm down.'

'Oh you don't think this is calm? You wanna see me not calm Bobby? What the hell!'

'Sam, I admit it, I brought one back for me. Just that one. I didn't think Dean would find it. I hid it pretty good.'

'Of course he was going to find it!' Sam screamed. 'He's an alcoholic! Just like you are!' He slammed down the phone and held onto the sink to support himself while he took in a huge breath. He felt dizzy at what he had just seen and what he had just done. Catching Dean and shouting at Bobby were two things he never wanted to do.

'You shouldn't yell at Bobby like that.' Dean had the nerve to say as he entered the kitchen. He didn't want Bobby to cop anything that was his fault and he sure as hell didn't want him blamed for it.

Sam turned around still visibly shaken and met his brother's guilt-stricken eyes.

'This wasn't his fault.' Dean tried. 'If I didn't know how his mind works, I'd never have found it.'

'But you do.' Sam finally spoke. 'And you did.'

'Yeah but you can't go blaming him.'

'He enabled you.'

'Enabled me? What? You been researching this on the internet or something?'

So what if he had been? He needed some kind of help on how to deal with an alcoholic brother and obviously Bobby wasn't up to the task. He needed something else, something remotely professional. He wasn't going to leave any stone unturned.

'What else does it say? Yell at the closest thing you have to a father?' Dean's sarcasm never left him. No matter what, it never left him.

Sam shook his head and looked away.

'You want to yell at someone, yell at me.'

'There's none left. He said that was the last one.' Sam said before stepping past Dean and into the living room. He sat down on the couch, placed his elbows on his knees and raked his hair through his hands holding them there. It was done. Dean had actually had a drink, they were back to square one all over again and all because the only other person he thought he could count on had betrayed them.

'It's okay Sam. I feel better. I can do this. I don't need any more. I just needed this one.' Dean said crumbling when he saw his brother crumbling. He grabbed one of the dining chairs, swung it around and sat down on the wrong side of it. This was hitting Sam hard and he knew what that felt like but he had to convince him that this situation was different. He could handle it. 'See, no more shaking. Look.' Sam didn't look up, he didn't move. 'And I don't care that there is none left, I don't want any more. You'll see. You just watch.'

The intense and unfaltering silence was interrupted by a phone ringing. Dean waited for Sam to move but he didn't, so Dean stepped into the kitchen and picked it up. They both knew it would be Bobby.

'Hello?'

'Dean. You okay?' Bobby greeted obviously stressed.

'I'm fine. You?'

'Been better. What's this about you searching my room for alcohol?'

'Bobby you know what it's like or you wouldn't have had it in there.'

'So that don't give you the right to go through my things and steal my whiskey does it?'

Dean looked at Sam who was still holding his head with his hands. Both of them were mad and let down by him. Both of them had reason to be. He had lied to them and gone behind their backs and thrown their help right back in their faces.

'I'm sorry about that.' He said wishing he could say more. Everyone was always at him to say more but he could hardly ever muster the words they so desperately wanted to hear. He hated that about himself.

'Why'd you do it? What's going on there?'

'I just needed it. I'm fine now. I won't do it again.' Dean rubbed his forehead.

'You keep going the way you are and of course you will. This is just going to keep happening. I mean I know I can't talk but my drinking isn't getting me into strife like yours is boy. You made a promise to yourself and to your brother and to me that you were going to stop it. You need to stop it Dean. And every time you fall off the wagon, it is just going to be that much harder to get back on. Take it from someone who knows.'

'You're doing alright.'

Sam closed his eyes when he heard that. That was the last thing Dean needed to believe.

'You know I am not doing alright Dean. You don't want to end up anything like me and you know it but like I said my drinking isn't getting me into trouble like yours is. I wasn't beat up because of it, I don't steal cars and disappear and pass out in some strange neighborhood I don't know and my brother isn't affected by my actions. You have to pull yourself together and you have to do it now, otherwise it is just going to get harder and harder.'

'I will, I am. I'm okay now. I just had to ease off of it.'

'No. You just have to stop.'

'Okay.'

'How's your brother doing?'

'Yeah, you know...'

'Will he talk to me?'

'Sam, Bobby wants to talk to you.' Dean said padding back into the living room and holding out the phone to his brother. No movement, no reply. 'Sam.'

'It's okay.' Dean heard Bobby say through the speaker.

'Maybe try tomorrow.' Dean said putting the phone back to his ear, wishing this night had never happened.

'I will. You just take care of yourself okay? And that means no more beer or whiskey or drink, you hear me? You push yourself through it, you've been through worse. You can do it.'

'Okay.'

'You made Sam do it with his demon blood. Now you do it yourself. What was good for him, is good for you.'

'Okay. I got it.'

'Call me if you need me and tell your brother the same thing even though he probably don't wanna hear it.'

'He'll be okay.'

'I hope so. I'll call you both tomorrow.'

'See ya Bobby.'

As soon as Dean disconnected the phone. Sam stood up and moved to the bathroom. The absolute last thing he wanted to hear was Dean telling him off for not taking the call and justifying Bobby to him. That and he needed some space and time to think. He turned the shower on, sat against the wall on the floor and closed his eyes.

(to be continued...)


	15. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 15

**_Thank you again to the people who review. Sometimes you don't know if anyone out there is actually enjoying reading what you are writing. _****_Reviews tell us, so thank you. _**

***Lots of dialogue in this chapter. **

**Chapter 15**

'Sam, come on man. You've been in there for over an hour. Just come out.'

Sam didn't want to come out. Granted, he was relieved that he could still hear Dean which meant that he hadn't taken off anywhere; that had been on his mind, but he just did not want to come out. That would serve Dean right anyway. He had read online that the alcoholic had to face consequences to their actions. He couldn't just go out there and forgive him. That was just, in effect, giving him the go-ahead to do it all over again.

He had also read about emotional detachment and the idea of letting the alcoholic just go out and do what they wanted and letting them fall on their face. If they ended up in prison, leave them there. If they got into trouble, don't help them. If they spent all of their money on beer, don't lend them anymore.

Sam hadn't tried those last two because he just didn't know if he could. How could he emotionally detach from this? This was his brother and this was his brother's life…of course he was emotionally attached. He didn't know the first thing about how to unattach himself and he wasn't sure he wanted to. And not helping him? Well, that was just not in his being either. Dean needed help, Sam was going to give it to him – no matter what and it was always going to be unconditional.

So he was going against the experts…and it wasn't really working.

Sam-' Dean tried again. 'You don't come out, I am coming in. I've had enough.'

'Sam!'

'That's it.' Dean mumbled to himself. He opened the door to the bathroom, saw his brother on the floor with the water running in the shower and felt the reality of the situation slap him hard across the back of the head. Once he had fought the now cold water and turned the tap off, he grabbed a towel and mopped up the puddle on the floor. This was worse than he thought. Sam was worse than he thought.

'What's going on with you?' Dean asked, taking a seat on the toilet.

Sam pulled a face. 'What's going on with me?'

'Yeah. A week ago, we were drinking together in a bar and you were down with that.'

'A week ago I didn't realize how much of an alcoholic you are. A week ago, all this crap hadn't happened. A week ago, I didn't know you were hiding bottles from me. You have a problem Dean, we both know it. Only thing is, I don't know how to fix it and you obviously don't want to.'

'I said I do.'

'You also said you were going to stop and you didn't. Even after you promised me.'

'Dude, that same time, you said yourself that you would be cool if I stopped at one or two. Even three. You said that and now you go and change the rules on me.'

That was true and that was the truth. He had said that and if Dean could stop at two or three there wouldn't be an issue, but the question was, could he stop at two or three ? And should they even test that? Was that fixing the problem or facilitating it? Sam didn't know.

'It just scares me.' Sam admitted suddenly realizing how cold the tiled floor was. He shifted a bit and stretched out his legs. 'I don't know what to do.'

'You don't have to do anything. This is on me, not you, not Bobby, just me.'

'I can't just leave you to deal with this on your own.'

'You have to.'

'I won't.'

Dean licked his bottom lip and sighed. 'Why not?'

'Umm, because you're my brother and I'm not going to just hang you out to dry.'

'I hung you out to dry.'

'No you didn't.'

'Yes I did.'

'No you didn't.' Sam said definitely.

'Yes, I did.' Dean said even more definitely. 'And that was when you did it.'

'No I did it when you came back for me. That's when I did it.' Sam looked up at Dean; Dean looked down at the floor. 'Thing is, with this, we don't have some miracle clean up cure. This one is on us.'

'It's on me.'

'Dude, it's on us. Please.' Sam almost begged. 'How come when I have a problem, it's on us but when you do it's on you?'

'Because that's the way I like it.' Dean offered a smile trying his hardest to lighten the mood.

'Tough.'

That fell flat. The moisture in the air was making it hard to breathe. Sam's hair was damp and the bottom of his jeans were wet. They both needed out of there.

'Come on. Let's go downstairs.' Dean said thinking the living room would be a much more comfortable setting for this conversation.

'Oh so that's it then? End of discussion because that's what you want?'

'We can carry on.' Dean said casually.

'I'm only coming out if we do.'

Dean smiled at his younger brother. When he was all sulky like this it reminded him of when they were kids. Dean would always end up giving him his own way. This was just another one of those times.

'Come on. It's freaking wet and sticky in here.'

Sam was annoyed that Dean was doing much better. He was relaxed and coping and back to normal. He even seemed happy and that was all thanks to the whiskey. That well and truly sucked. He understood how– probably more than most others, but it really did piss him off.

It also depressed him that Dean was able to communicate and listen to him only after having a drink. Before that, there was no way. He knew he had to take advantage of it but he also knew that this wasn't the pivotal time they needed. Dean had to be suffering for it to get through. Nothing makes you feel more than pain, especially not relaxation.

'So go ahead. Talk.' Dean instigated the second they had both stepped off the last step. 'Sit on the couch.' He ordered as he watched Sam sink to his blankets on the floor.

'You sit on it.'

'Sam. You have just sat on a hard floor in a wet bathroom. You sit on the couch, I'll take the floor.'

'See! That's exactly it.'

'Oh here we go.'

They both sat on the floor even though they both could have sat on the couch.

'You have got to put yourself first.' Sam said with vigor.

'Dude if I knew you were going to go with this angle, I would have left you up there.'

'Can you please just take it on and hear me out?'

Dean rolled his eyes. 'I've heard it all before Sam, a thousand times. You are going to tell me that I'm drinking because I never put myself first and I am too busy looking after you to look after me and that if I paid more attention to myself then maybe I wouldn't be in this mess. Am I close?'

Sam was taken aback, 'Pretty much.'

'Okay, so I got it, you don't need to say it again. Seriously.'

'Then when are you going to start believing it?'

'Maybe, I am in this mess because I do put myself first, ever think of that?'

'No.' Sam didn't believe that for a second.

'If I want a drink, I have a drink no matter what anybody says or thinks. How is that not putting myself first?'

'Because you are drinking for a reason. What is that reason?'

'Okay. Because our lives suck.'

'They stopped sucking awhile ago.'

'They still suck.'

'Okay then what? You want to quit hunting?'

'No, I don't want to quit hunting but it isn't a cushy job that pays well is it? It comes with pretty huge stressors don't you think?'

'I know it does.'

'So we deal with it any way we know how.'

'Me with demon blood and you with alcohol.'

'Yeah.'

'Then we are doing something wrong man. That stuff makes us weaker even though it feels like it makes us stronger. It doesn't. Being under the influence of anything means we are not being ourselves and it also means we are hindered.'

'And I said I am going to stop. What do you want?'

'For you to stop.'

Dean drew a blank. He was saying what Sam wanted to hear, why wasn't it getting through to him? 'What do you want me to say that I haven't already said?'

'It's not what I want you to say Dean. It's what I want you to do, but not for me; for yourself. I want you to want this as well.'

Silence. Dean thought about that. Did he want this for himself? Had he been trying to quit for himself or for his family because that is what they wanted for him?

'Dean I want you to know that you are worth saving. I don't think you get that.'

'I get it.' He wasn't so sure. When he dug right down deep inside of him all he managed to find was a need to fix this current conflict with his brother and then another need for his brother to fix this thing with Bobby. There was not much going on in the way of the actual drinking issue.

'You get it if it means making us happy. If you were here by yourself - I mean take me and Bobby out of the picture, would you even bother trying? Honestly?'

'Honestly? Probably not.'

'Exactly.' Sam swallowed. 'And that is what scares me.'

When Dean didn't respond, Sam sighed and said, 'Can you please promise me that you will try and find that in yourself? Not just the need to save yourself, but the need to feel like you are worth saving?'

'Is that how you feel?' Dean questioned, 'Dude, look at what you did. I wanted you to want to save yourself and you didn't. You just jumped right in that hole. The ultimate sacrifice.'

'My self-worth isn't even nearly as low as your self-worth Dean. I jumped in because I knew being me would work. Over everybody else, I knew it was me that had to do it.'

'Same with me and Michael.'

'No, you were willing to sacrifice yourself for Michael.'

'You turn it around buddy. Jeez.'

'Yeah and I always can because it always comes back to the same things with you. You said yourself that who you are is looking after me. Why isn't who you are looking out for yourself as well?' Sam continued, 'Imagine if I didn't care about myself and just did whatever the hell I wanted and put myself in danger and kept on with the demon blood for no other reason than because it made me feel better. You would kick my ass and do anything you could to stop it. Hell, that's exactly what you did do.'

'Damn right and I would do it again too.'

'So maybe do it to yourself as well. Whatever you would do for me, do the same thing for you. Treat yourself the same as you would treat me. That's all I ask. Can you do that?'

'I guess.'

'No Dean, feel it. Really feel it. Can you do that? Because if not, dude, I'm worried.'

'I'll do it. Yes. I'll do it, on one condition though.'

'What's that?'

'You sort this out with Bobby. You apologize to him for yelling at him and you fix it.'

Sam frowned. 'Have you heard anything I have just said?'

'Yes, and I am telling you, I want this fixed before I take any of it on.'

'No.'

'Why not?'

'Because I am pissed at him and he needs to know that. '

'Sam-'

'No Dean, no way. Don't put conditions on me like that. I have to act a certain way so you can stop drinking. That's stupid and goes against everything you just agreed to. '

'Just don't go blaming him for something I did.'

'If he didn't do what he did, you wouldn't have done it.'

'I would have and you know it. I know how to hotwire a car.'

Sam shook his head and watched as his brother backed down.

'Okay,' Dean said, 'We'll talk about it tomorrow.'

(to be continued...)


	16. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Bobby Singer didn't manage to kill the poltergeist in Minnesota; he left his friend Bill Shaw to do it alone. Why? Because family was more important than killing poltergeists to the old guy and when Sam was mad at him and Dean was in trouble that was all he needed to jump in his truck and drive through the night back home.

He had no intention of interfering with any plan either of the boys had for Dean's recovery. He was willing to offer support and help if they wanted it but even if it meant he stay in a Motel close by and they stayed in his house, he was prepared for that. Nothing was as important as getting Dean back on track and nothing was as important as making it right with Sam.

These boys were his world. Plain and simple. What he wouldn't do for them…but what he had done to them. Firstly, he had kicked himself for not taking the whiskey to Minnesota, then he had thought about it some more and kicked himself harder for ever bringing it back home from Jack's in the first place. Of all the selfish and stupid things to do! No wonder Sam was so pissed with him. He had every reason to be.

Still, he didn't take kindly to being hung up on and Sam knew that. That was a no go. He would have his own words to say about that.

He wondered how long it took for Dean to find his bottle and how on earth he knew to check inside one of the two old, broken down computer towers that were stacked on the top shelf in his cupboard under some old clothes. The man was a genius, or desperate; a desperate genius.

He hadn't called ahead so he wasn't sure of the reception he would receive when he stepped through the door. It was nine-thirty on a Monday morning and the boys were still asleep. He dropped his bag at the bottom of the stairs and looked at his sleeping beauties.

Dean seemed so relaxed and untroubled; Sam appeared so peaceful and young. It was a shame to wake them, to bring them crashing back into the real world that was often so cruel and callous to them both, but he figured he had to. Dean, at least would want to know he was there. So he woke the older one first.

'Hey.' Dean smiled up at him much to Bobby's relief. 'What are you doing back?' He sat up and stretched.

Bobby shrugged, 'Bill can handle it himself.'

'You came back because of him.' Dean nodded towards his brother feeling sorry for the older man.

'And you. Sounds like you both might need a good kick up the pants.' He smiled hoping Dean understood the real reason. 'You want breakfast?'

'Yeah. Sounds good.'

'You wake your brother, let him know I'm here, I'll make a start.'

Dean nodded and looked over at Sam silently begging him not to be angry at Bobby. He just did not understand why Sam was more pissed off at him than at Dean. Dean was the one who drank it. Bobby didn't force him to.

'Hey. Sam. Sam wake up.' Was Dean's gentle way of waking his brother. Sam stirred but didn't open his eyes. Dean leant over and shook him. 'Time to get up.'

Sam was confused when he felt Dean right next to him and heard a clutter going on in the kitchen. He willed his eyes open and after spotting Dean, peered into the next room. There was Bobby closing the fridge door and placing a carton of milk on the bench.

'Be nice.' Dean pointed a finger in his brother's face as soon as he saw Sam's expression of fury form. 'This is his house. Be nice Sam, I mean it.'

Ignoring his brother, Sam stood. He didn't care that he was only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, he was going in.

'What are you doing back? Haven't you done enough?' Sam greeted with an icy tone. Bobby froze disappointed at the younger man's attitude. He wasn't surprised but he had hoped he would have calmed down a bit by now.

'Sam, that's enough.' Dean said following closely behind. 'I told you, this is his house. He doesn't need that in his own house.'

'Okay fine. Pack your stuff; we're going to a Motel.'

'No.' Dean frowned trailing Sam back into the living room. He watched as his brother picked up the sheets and blankets and loosely folded them until it all got too much and messy. He then threw them on the couch in a crumpled heap. Bobby could fix it after they had gone. That, was the least he could do.

Sam didn't care that Dean wasn't helping or that Dean was just about ready to pounce on him, nor did he care that Bobby still hadn't moved from his position in the kitchen. He just went right ahead and packed Dean's stuff and then his own.

'You have to calm the hell down.' Dean said to him in a growling whisper. 'This is ridiculous Sam. Hey! Look at me!'

Sam did but only to say, 'Is this all your stuff?'

'Do you know what you are doing? This is Bobby Sam – Bobby.'

'Exactly. Is this all your stuff?'

'Sam-' Bobby said as he stepped into his living room. 'Can we talk about this?'

'Yes.' Dean answered for his brother. 'You can.'

'I've got nothing to say.' Sam replied before darting up the stairs to grab his toiletries from the bathroom.

'I'm sorry.' Dean said to the helpless Bobby.

'He's got every reason to be mad at me.'

'Not like that. Give me a minute?'

'Sure.' Bobby walked back to the kitchen beginning to regret the decision to come back. It had only made things worse, not better. Sam needed more time and now Dean was caught up in the stress as well which was the absolute last thing he needed.

When Dean found Sam leaving the bathroom he shoved him bythe bicep into the spare room and slammed the door behind them. 'What the hell do you think you are doing? Are you out of your frickin mind?'

'I don't expect you to get it, I just expect you to back me up – not him.'

'Back you up? Are you kidding me? You are blaming Bobby for something I did Sam! How can I back that?'

'By just coming with me to a Motel.'

'Neither of us is going to a damn Motel. We are staying here and you are going to calm the hell down and sort this out. You don't want to do anything you are going to regret.'

'If I stay here, I will.'

'Sam!'

'What? Put yourself in my shoes Dean. Think back to when you were trying to detox me. Imagine if Bobby had gone against what you had said and given me blood. How would have you reacted? It's the same thing.'

'Bobby didn't give me alcohol, I found it.'

'Same thing!'

'No its not!'

'Yes it is! He led me to believe that there was no alcohol in this house, he shipped it off himself. I thought this place was safe but he brought some back and made it unsafe and you found it and you drank it and if it wasn't for him bringing it back then you wouldn't have!' Sam knew he was babbling but he didn't care. He was furious. 'And you keep telling me this is Bobby. Yes this is Bobby. Bobby did this to you!'

'I did this to me.'

'No! He did it by bringing it back!'

A knock on the door put an end to their arguing. Sam shook his head signaling he didn't want him in but Dean ignored him and opened the door anyway.

'Dean, give me a minute with Sam okay?'

'Sure.'

Once again Sam shook his head but Dean's glare was enough to shut him down from ever arguing the point again. That dude could be scary. Even with just a look.

'Dean doesn't need to deal with this.' Bobby said to Sam. 'It's between you and me, so let's make it just that.'

Sam threw his bag on the bookshelf and leant against the window sill, waiting for Bobby to shut the door after his brother. With a sigh of relief Bobby spoke first.

'I am sorry Sam, you gotta believe me. If I could take it back I would.'

'You can't though, can you? And Dean had a drink because of it.' Sam said unable to make eye contact.

'I know. It was a stupid thing to do.'

'Damn right it was. '

'But you don't have to leave because of it. I can promise you it won't happen again.'

'I needed you with me on this.'

'And I am kid. You know I am.'

'No, you aren't. You put whiskey right under his nose. How is that being with us?'

'Did he tell you where I hid it?'

'It doesn't matter where you hid it! God don't you get that?'

'Yes, okay I do get that but you gotta understand him finding it was the last thing I wanted. That's why I hid it.'

'You hid it from me as much as you hid it from Dean.'

'Look,' Bobby said, 'I'm not perfect Sam. I made a mistake and I understand you are angry with me because of it but I guarantee you it won't happen again.'

'How can I believe that?'

'Because it's me.'

'That used to be a good reason.'

Sam didn't realise those words had cut Bobby's guts in two. Instead he was so embroiled in the whole situation that he could only look at things from his point of view and all he saw was Bobby putting his brother at risk. Anyone who did that didn't deserve anything other than wrath. He was just lucky he was Bobby, otherwise he wouldn't be standing.

'Dean needs to stay here. Not in some shifty Motel with a bar on the same block. You think about that before you make any hasty decisions.' Bobby said being forced into pulling up stronger.

'Okay fine. Maybe he should stay and I should leave and you two can live happily ever after drinking yourselves to an early death. You'd both like that wouldn't you?'

'Kid you have every right to be mad, but this attitude is beginning to wear thin.'

'Oh really? I'm so sorry.' Sam's sarcasm matched Dean's remarkably well when he wanted it to.

'I don't want you to go.'

'I don't care.'

'Just. Please. Think about things first and come and talk to me before you decide anything.' Bobby knew there was no point trying to talk to Sam when he was in a mood like this. He needed to calm down and think rationally before even attempting to hold a mature conversation.

Before he opened the door to go back downstairs he added, 'Sam, just remember one thing; this tension between you and me is no good for Dean.'

When Bobby stepped back into the living room, he shook his head, took a seat on the couch and filled Dean in on the details of the conversation.

'I can go and make him think rationally if you want.' Dean offered picturing his foot kicking his brother's ass.

'No. I don't blame him; I just want to be able to speak with him calmly. I'm hoping that will come sooner or later.'

'I can make it sooner.'

Bobby gave a smile knowing damn well he could. 'I would prefer it come from him. Thanks anyway.'

'He'll calm down.'

'I probably shouldn't have come home. Maybe I should check into a Motel. I thought about that on the drive back. '

'Don't be stupid. This is your house.'

'It's your house as much as it is mine and you need it more than me right now.'

'Bobby, put that idea right out of your head. You aren't going anywhere and either are we ... unless you want us to. '

'I don't want you to.'

'Then great. We'll give him time up there to think things through and when he comes down I'm sure he'll be willing to sort this out.'

_(to be continued...)_


	17. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Sam wasn't willing to sort it out because as far as he was concerned it wasn't something that could be sorted out. Bobby had jeopardized Dean's recovery plain and simple. How can you sort something like that out? But he was hungry and Bobby was right. Dean didn't need the tension. If he continued with it, Sam himself would be jeopardizing his brother's recovery and that was something he had no intention of doing. So over two hours later, he threw his bag back in the bathroom and stepped down the stairs.

The sight of Bobby brought his back right up all over again but he couldn't let Dean know that. He was going to do what he had to do for his brother, not for himself and definitely not for the guy he once trusted with their lives.

'You calmed down?' Dean asked from his laid back position on the couch in a not so friendly tone. Sam expected it and wasn't offended. He wished his brother would understand but most of his life he had experienced Dean one time or another pissed at him for fighting with their father. It was kind of normal and of course the same rules would apply for Bobby. What Dean wanted in his family was peace. Since their dad had died, Sam had regretted not giving that to him. It was time to give it to him.

'Yeah.'

He sat on the other edge of the couch and looked over to Bobby who was sitting at the table pretending to read a book . When Sam couldn't bring himself to say anything, Bobby lifted his head and met his eyes. This was harder for Sam than he expected. He forgot how Bobby had this way of melting him, especially when it was with kindness.

'You hungry?' he asked him.

Sam nodded and without another word Bobby stood up and moved into the kitchen.

'Fix this.' Dean said with such desperation in his eyes that Sam couldn't fight it. He nodded and stood, inhaled a deep breath and made his way into the kitchen. He instantly felt nervous and a little remorseful. His anger still burned but the way he had reacted and the way he had handled the situation suddenly felt a little dramatic.

'Cheese and tomato okay?' Bobby asked him buttering the first slice of bread.

'Yeah. I can do it.'

'I've got it, take a seat.'

Sam did so and tried to get his emotions under control. He didn't know what the hell was going on inside of him. He felt himself calming even though he didn't want to, he felt like he needed Bobby to forgive him even though he didn't want to forgive Bobby and he felt like making it all okay between them even though he didn't think Bobby deserved it. He was confused.

Dean was listening in from the next room not sure what the silence meant. Sam had seemed a little more relaxed when he came down but he knew his brother and could see he was still full of petulance. He just hoped Bobby's calming influence was having an affect on him. Sam could be rebellious and his stubborn side could take over all else at times. He wasn't sure which way Sam was going to go, but he was proud of him for at least trying.

After Bobby handed Sam his plate he took a seat opposite him and said, 'Talk to me kid.'

'I don't know what to say.' Sam said to his food.

'You know I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you or your brother don't you?' Bobby told him again.

Sam nodded.

'And I know I did and I am sorry about that.'

After picking up and then putting back down his sandwich, Sam looked up into Bobby's eyes. 'I'm sorry about the way I reacted.'

Dean smiled, Bobby smiled. Sam didn't. He knew he had to apologize but he was upset with himself for doing so. To him he had done it for Dean and Bobby's happiness but not for Dean's sake. It felt like a betrayal to his brother's wellbeing and he had trouble accepting that. Bobby saw something in his expression and was relieved Dean couldn't. He leant forward, and said in a whisper. 'I know you are doing this for Dean. You're a good brother Sam.'

Sam sat back and looked into Bobby's eyes. They were watery. Sam looked away. Bobby did too. Dean stepped in. He was fed up with the whole being excluded thing. 'We all good or what?' he said hopefully and impatiently, unable to read the situation. They still looked stiff and defensive but they both smiled at him and nodded.

'Great, give me one of those.' He snatched one of his brother's sandwich halves and jumped up to sit on the bench. 'You up for working on the Impala today?'

'If you want.' Sam smiled wider. Dean frowned and looked at Bobby who smiled at him as well. It was all so phony and put on.

'We're not all good are we?' His disappointment was enough for Sam to fake a reaction.

'Yes. We're all good. I reckon you'll get her going today.'

'I don't know about that but the stereo works so we have her playing music again.'

'Awesome.' Sam was trying his hardest to sound normal but he could even hear how much he was failing.

'Why don't you go and make a start?' Bobby said to Dean, 'We'll be out when Sam finishes this and I clean up.'

Dean looked from Bobby to Sam and then to his sandwich. They needed more time. They weren't 'all good' but if he left them alone, maybe they would be. That's what mattered. That's all that mattered. He leapt from the bench, stole another half from Sam's plate and moved out of the room, trying his hardest to pass on some positive and happy vibes. If they thought he was happy then maybe they could be happy as well. He just needed them to be happy - and happy with each other. Nothing else mattered.

Once they were both sure Dean was outside, Sam started to eat and Bobby stood up to clean the bench and dishes. He checked the window one more time to make certain Dean was out of earshot and then said to Sam, 'Would it be easier if I checked into a Motel for a few days?'

'This is your house.' Sam said. 'It should be us doing that.'

'Are you going to?'

'Dean doesn't want to.'

'But you want to?'

'I don't know what I want.'

'Please just listen to me Sam. You, me, your brother; we've all done some stuff we're not too proud of and sometimes it takes something to wake us up, to make us sit up and take a good look at ourselves. This was it for me.'

'That's great. I'm glad Dean could help you with that.'

'That's not what I mean.'

'I know what you mean, but you know what I don't get? Why I should be okay with this.'

'You shouldn't be.'

'That's what I think.'

Bobby threw the cloth in the sink and stepped around the bench so that he was closer to Sam. He had to reach him and prove that he had Dean's best interests at heart.

'Look it's great that you are trying to protect your brother so fiercely but we're family Sam. I just need you to understand how much I want to make this right with you and how much I want to help you with Dean and his drinking. I can see he has a problem and I will do anything to help you fix it. You know you can count on me. Deep down, you know it.'

Sam closed his eyes and tried his damn hardest to will this anger away. Of course he knew Bobby was there for them, he was always there for them. Always. He just couldn't shake this feeling of betrayal. Bobby's actions had put his brother at risk. How could he just let that go? He wanted to so badly. Dean even wanted him to, but something was holding him back and once again, he cursed his current anger issues. He looked up at the ceiling to calm himself and then spoke;

'I think I just need a bit of time. Seeing him drinking when he was going so good…Well...when he had stopped for a few days, just freaked me out a bit.'

'You got it.' Bobby complied.

'If you want me to leave-'

'Never Sam. Never.'

Hearing those three simple words caused tears to well. Somewhere Sam had replaced this Bobby with another Bobby. A Bobby that would put his own selfish needs before his brother's dire needs. But here, standing right in front of him was the old Bobby. The Bobby he loved like a father, the Bobby he trusted only second to his brother and the Bobby who loved him like a son - unconditionally. No matter what Sam had done, Bobby had never stopped loving him, had never stopped supporting him. Even when he became addicted to demon blood, or when he chose to take off with a demon bitch, or even when he smashed him in the face and knocked him out with a rifle….God, even when he brought on the end of the world; he never once stopped.

And however he loved and supported Sam, he felt and would do the same for Dean.

A hitch in his throat caught him off guard and his eyes told Bobby exactly what he needed to know.

'Come here boy.' Bobby said holding out his arms.

Without hesitation Sam stood, moved over to him and fell into the older man's hug. It was a big, strong hug that comforted them both. Yes, this was the old Bobby and the old Bobby was just as human as they were; human enough to make mistakes. When they pulled away, Sam had managed to forgive. Bobby had trusted him after all of his wrong doings, he knew he had to do the same for him.

As long as it never happened again.

'Please,' he begged. 'Just don't bring any alcohol in here while we're still here. If you really need it, just tell me and we'll leave.'

'I told you it aint gonna happen again…and it aint.'

Nodding, Sam said, 'You know, you could do with drinking less as well.'

'Know what I was saying about my wake up call? I wasn't kidding.'

'Good.'

'Now for your wake up call; hang up on me again and I'll beat your ass.'

'Understood.' Sam smiled even though he believed the man.

'Good. Now, let's go help your brother.'

oOoOoOo

'You promise me its all sorted?' Dean demanded later as he made Sam try to start the Impala for the third time. She was close, she was doing that same rumbling thing that happened to Sam on that fateful night. Luckily it was back to the original problem which meant all else just could be okay.

'Yes.'

"Don't lie to me.' Dean said as he flicked something under the hood that Sam couldn't see. Hopefully that would work.

'I'm not lying.'

'Try again.'

Sam tried again; same thing.

'Dammit. Cause i don't want crap between you two.' He turned something else. 'Again.'

No change. 'It's all cool Dean, I swear.'

'Good. Make sure it stays that way.' He picked up a wrench and started doing something that Sam didn't really want to know about. As he watched his brother work, a thought struck him. It wasn't a very enjoyable thought. In fact, it screwed with his stomach, but thinking back about his own addiction and recovery and something Bobby had said, he felt like a light had suddenly been switched on.

As hard as it was to think about and as hard as it would be to go through, Sam formulated some sort of a plan for the next time Dean took a drink.


	18. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

'So you're telling me the next time Dean has a drink, you are just going to let him continue?' Bobby asked confused.

'Yes.'

'And let him just go and get himself into trouble?'

'Well you said yourself Bobby. You got your wake up call, I got mine.' Sam shrugged. 'Maybe Dean needs his.'

'And you don't consider being beat up, held hostage and having his car smashed up a wakeup call?'

'But I took control in all of those things, I took that from him. '

'This isn't your fault Sam.'

'No, I know that. I'm just saying maybe what I read on the net is right. Maybe to protect him we have to stop protecting him and maybe to help him we have to stop helping him. I mean look at me. If Dean had've kept trying to fix my problem for me, I may never have come through the other side. I had to screw up for myself to even want to fix it.'

'The end of the world is a pretty big incentive.'

'I know.' Sam looked down, still scarred by that. He could think it himself, he could say it himself but when he heard others refer to it, it just brought everything back.

Bobby softened. 'You know what I mean Sam. '

'Yeah, I do. Look don't get me wrong, I am not going to just leave him hanging. He's just going to think I am.'

'Huh?'

'I'll be close by. I'll be watching, but he has to think he is alone.'

'That doesn't make no sense. He was alone and drunk just the other night and it made no difference.'

'That's because I saved him again. He knows if ever something happens, he can just call us to either help him or fix the problem. He can do whatever he likes knowing that. He needs to think he's alone and he needs to fix it himself.'

'So tell me again the point of you being there watching him if you aint gonna save him?'

'I'm not up for any life or death situations. But Bobby, if what was going on, I could walk away from, if it was doable, as hard as it was, I would have to do it.'

'I don't know Sam.'

'I know it's a risk-'

'Sounds like a very big risk to me.'

'But what else do we have?'

'A day or two to think of something else?'

'If we can come up with something better, I'm in.'

'Good.'

oOoOoOo

Dean was thirsty but he didn't want any more drama in his familyand so far that need was outdoing his need for a drink. So far.

He had been doing well. The very second the thought of velvet liquid running down his throat entered his head he would concentrate on the Impala instead. That was the only thing that could take his mind off it; trying to work out her problem. So far he had no idea what was going on with her which ultimately was bittersweet. Bitter because he wanted her back on the road and sweet because it was occupying his mind.

He had been having mood swings; poor Sam had copped the brunt of some snappy times, the headaches were back but the shaking had been under control. That was something. When his shaking had started last time and then gotten worse, that was when he started to lose it. That was when he felt his control was lost.

The most important thing now though was that he had finally been able to relax in the knowing that his brother and his surrogate father were back on track. He could have killed Sam for the way he reacted and he was close to it, but he had to admit - to himself only – that he could understand it. Sam had been right, he would have reacted the exact same way if the situation had have been reversed.

He wanted to tell his brother that, to let him know he didn't believe it was Sam's anger management problems but rather his way of protecting his brother. If anyone could understand and empathize with that it was Dean. They were both the same in that way. Dean gave a smile. Sam really did have his back. He might be a royal pain in the ass at times but thinking back over the past few weeks he could see how much Sam had stepped up for him.

He smiled again. His little brother would do anything for him. Anything. That was a good little brother to have. When he thought about it, he was proud of their relationship. Apart from one or two dark times in their history they always had each other to count on...and that was something special.

Yes, if Sam didn't want him to drink, he wouldn't drink. He owed him that at least.

Unfortunately that mindset lasted only three more days before the shaking took him over once again.

oOoOoOo

'Yes!' Dean had exclaimed earlier on that day. Sam had smiled a full smile. When he had turned the ignition for the umpteenth time the Impala finally sprung to life.

'What did you do?'

'Lots of stuff but nothing I can really pinpoint.' Dean was beaming. He had his baby back. It was the last thing they needed to do. The car could do with a new paint job and some more expert panel beating but she was roadworthy again, drivable again. He slammed down the hood and moved to the driver's side. 'Scoot over. We're going for a drive.'

Sam did so and found himself almost as excited as his brother. Dean gave him a smile, turned up the volume, beeped his horn for Bobby and drove right on out of the driveway. 'Oh Baby, it's so good to have you back.' If only he could have a drink to celebrate. Dean wasn't willing to bring that up but God; it was what he was feeling. It couldn't be a celebration without a drink could it? Never had been before.

'She's running alright.' Sam said, happy to see his brother finally smiling.

'She's running.' Dean corrected lightly. He could hear a few things not quite right. To the average person she sounded fine, but to Dean, who knew her every hum, whirr and vibration, he could tell she still needed a little more work. But in spite of that, she was back and he was ecstatic.

'I thought it would take months to get her to this.' Sam said over 'Back in Black' blasting through the speakers. Dean had chosen the song especially. It was symbolic he thought. Sam thought it a bit douche-y but he wasn't going to say anything. He was going to let Dean have his moment.

'Me too. We did good Sam. You did good. You really put in the effort.'

'It was my fault, I had to fix it.' That was Sam's idea of symbolism.

'It was both our fault and we both had to fix it.' Dean said before cutting off any more conversation. He turned the chorus up full-bore and sang along. Sam wondered why his symbolism was often lost on his brother whereas Dean's symbolism seemed to blast right through his ears.

Typical. Sam smiled.

oOoOoOo

Now, hours later, the only thing Dean could think of was that velvet liquid running down his throat. Full stop.

Full stop.

Full stop.

He pictured himself turning the key in the ignition of the Impala, cruising to the local bar, having just one drink – two at the most and toasting to her back-to-life celebration. He would love it if his brother could join him. Just the two of them – Bobby too if he wanted – just to keep enjoying this monumental event together.

He was happy. He was excited. He wanted to do something other than just sitting at home on yet another dreary night. He couldn't tell Sam. His brother would just suggest another movie or something equally as uninteresting. The only thing he wanted to do was drive to a bar, spend an hour there and then come home and go to sleep.

As long as he stopped at one – or maybe two. Two at the most. He could do it. And Sam and Bobby didn't even have to know. Sometimes what they didn't know didn't hurt them. Ignorance was bliss and all that. But he had promised Sam. But Sam had to understand that you just can't keep every single promise. That was just life. And anyway, it was only two tonight. What was the big deal? Two wasn't a problem. Even Sam had said that.

But he shouldn't. He really shouldn't. He had been doing so well and everyone had been so proud of him and if he could last this long then surely he could last another day. But it was only two and he wouldn't have any tomorrow. Tomorrow would be fine, he would be fine tomorrow. At least then he wouldn't be all shaky and crap and he could think clearly again. Two was okay. Two was all it would take to get his strength back again so that he could fight this properly. Every journey had bumps in the road and this was just one of those bumps. He remembered hearing that somewhere.

Another bump and the biggest bump of all - more like a boulder Dean thought, was how he was going to get out of the house. That was the biggest obstacle. Sam had been a lot less watchful of him over the past couple of days, he could even have space to breathe but he wasn't sure he was just going to let him walk out the door. He had to think of something viable, nothing too construed or out there though. Something Sam and Bobby would buy, something simple. He didn't see how anything could work but he knew he had no choice but to give it a go. Anything was worth a try. This shaking was not only messing with his body but it was also doing his head in and he had to make it stop.

'Just going out for a drive.' Dean said as nonchalantly as possible.

Sam frowned and then tried to stop himself from flat out panicking. Bobby snapped his head up from the book he was reading and looked at Sam.

'Where?' Sam asked.

'Just – nowhere. Just want to give her another run.'

'Want some company?'

'No, I want my music loud and I don't want any killjoy bringing me down.'

'You can have it loud.'

'I'll just be an hour.'

'Okay. Just – take your phone. You said yourself she still has issues.'

'Yeah I got it.'

'Is it charged?'

'Yes dad.' Dean rolled his eyes and gave Bobby a smile not convinced Sam wasn't bluffing. He had to get out quick before he could tell him he was joking. 'Seeya's in a bit.'

As soon as Dean was out of the door, Sam raced into the kitchen and grabbed the Ford keys. He raised his eyebrows at Bobby, moved to the front door and waited until he heard the Impala rev and exit the property.

'You got your phone?' Bobby asked him.

'Yeah.'

'Keep in contact and don't let him do anything too stupid okay?'

'Yeah.'

Suddenly, and not feeling right about it at all, Bobby found himself alone.


	19. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Okay so while this plan had seemed like a good idea at the time, now hours later and watching Dean down too many beers, Sam had a change of heart. Every time Dean took a sip, Sam would flinch, every time he would finish a glass, Sam would feel like bursting through the doors and dragging him out of there by the hair and every time a fresh and full beer was placed in front of his brother, he would feel like smashing the person who brought it to him fair in the face.

But yet he remained in his car and continued to watch through the window. Dean hadn't moved from his booth. No one had approached him and he hadn't approached anyone. He just sat there, alone with his alcohol and looking too comfortable and content.

Sam wondered what he was thinking about. Alone time for Dean was sometimes a form of hell for him. He never wanted to think, never wanted his own company and never wanted to be…alone. Yet here he was seemingly more alone than ever and seemingly happier than ever.

_You are being dramatic again,_ Sam thought to himself. If anyone understood it had to be him. All Dean was thinking about as he downed his beer was where the next one was coming from. He was too relaxed to think of anything else, too numb to feel anything and too drunk to care about what was happening to him.

Sam cared though and he felt like punching something. Watching his brother bring glass to mouth over and over again saddened him beyond belief and made him feel too powerless. He wondered how anything was going to work. This plan should have, but what was Sam actually waiting for? What if nothing happened? What if Dean just found his way home, went to sleep, woke up and carried on with his day tomorrow? What would he have learnt? That drinking really wasn't a problem. That's what. And that was exactly what Sam didn't want to teach him.

So really, what had he hoped for? For Dean to get beat up again? No. There was a group of burly men playing pool just to the left of him. Sam had been silently praying that Dean keep right out of their way. Did he want Dean to get into trouble so he could leave him to learn his lesson in a cell? Definitely not. The further they kept from the police the better. Did he want him to get into his car and kill someone on the road? Never would he wish that. What did he want then? What had he invisioned when he thought this was a good idea? He didn't remember.

He just wanted his brother out of there and sober.

His phone ringing interrupted his thoughts and as he connected his call, he took his eyes off Dean and the bar. 'Bobby.' He stated into the receiver.

'It's getting late Sam. Don't you think it's time you brought him home?'

'Yeah, I'm starting to think this wasn't such a great idea.'

'I gotta tell you, I was never really in support of it.'

'I know,' he sighed while rubbing his eye and checking the clock. It was after midnight and he was getting sleepy. 'I should have listened to you.'

'Just as long as everything's alright. We'll sort the rest out tomorrow.'

'Everything's not alright though is it? He drank so much and it's all my fault. I should have stopped him but instead I just sat by and let him do it.'

'Just go and get him and bring him home. Take the Impala and leave the Ford there. We'll get it tomorrow.'

'Yeah okay.' Sam turned his head to look through the window to check on Dean and frowned. He was not sitting at his seat. A couple were now sliding into the booth while a waiter was wiping down the table. He scanned the bar for a sign of his brother but he was nowhere to be seen. He then adjusted his eyes to scrutinize the street outside. That was where he saw him, stumbling to the Impala and fumbling with his keys.

'I've got to go.' Sam said to Bobby and hung up.

He cursed himself for somehow getting tangled in his seatbelt but finally managed to free himself and open the door. Once he had stepped out onto the kerb he had to wait for two cars to pass so he could cross the road. By the time they had, it was too late. Dean was already in the Impala and starting the engine.

'Dean!' Sam called out just as Dean pulled out onto the street. 'Dean!' All he could do was stand by and watch as the Impala past him and sped through a red light.

'Dammit to hell!' Sam exclaimed as he spun around, bolted back to his own car and jumped in. He himself fumbled with the keys out of sheer panic. His brother had actually done it, he was driving drunk, and not just a little drunk but a lot drunk. He could hardly walk let alone drive.

'Come on.' Sam begged just before he managed to push the key in and start the ignition. His own u-turn was as dangerous as his brother's driving but he had to catch up to him and quick.

Breaking the speed limit by this much didn't faze him. What fazed him was that he couldn't find Dean for the life of him. There weren't too many ways back to Bobby's but obviously the way he was going wasn't the way Dean had chosen. He was sure it would have been, it usually was, but this time, the time when he really needed it to be was the time when it wasn't.

He hung a right and then a left bursting onto the main road and double backed. There was no way in hell Dean would have beat him surely. Yes he was drunk but the speed Sam had been going was something that needed to be pushed. Dean wouldn't be pushing, he would just be doing his best to stay on the road.

Thank God he was getting all the green lights, nothing was really slowing him down, he should be spotting him any second. Luck must finally be on his side...

The last thing Sam saw on his sixth green light was his brother's car heading straight towards him too fast on the wrong side of the road. He swerved to miss him. It wasn't enough. He closed his eyes on instinct and waited for impact. When it came it spun him around so fast that he didn't have time to open them.

He didn't get to hear the crunch of car hitting pole, didn't get to see his brother pull over and didn't get to feel the blood slide down his face.

oOoOoOo

'Oh my fucking God.' Dean had said out aloud as he opened his door. He had hit someone and it was bad. Really, really bad. He couldn't help but look behind him at the Impala's front end as he somehow managed to jog over to the car that was now wrapped around a pole. It wasn't in such great shape but what was in worse shape was this Ford and probably the person… or people inside it. He felt sick. What had he done? He couldn't even remember what had happened. Just saw a flash of blue and then felt an epic and almighty bang.

He felt himself falling. The gutter met him before he could get to the front of the car and help the person. Dizziness began to take over but he forced himself back up and staggered over to the driver's side window. He was terrified of what he was going to find and before he could muster the courage to look, noticed others running over to him from across the street.

He tried to focus and saw to his relief that there was only one person in the car. Thank God there wasn't a family. He took a closer look just as he opened the driver's side door. There unconscious and bleeding slumped his little brother. He shook his head and shut his eyes tight determined to get it together and focus so he could help this person. Why was he seeing Sam there? What was his mind doing to him?

'Call 911!' Someone yelled to someone else. 'Quick, he's bleeding from the head!'

'Is he breathing?' Another voice questioned.

'Yeah, he's breathing but he needs help. Quick.'

Thank God.

Dean continued to close his eyes to remove the image of Sam sitting in this seat bleeding. He had to see what was really going on. He didn't understand. No matter how many times he closed and then re-opened his eyes, he could only see Sam. Finally and ignoring all the onlooker's screaming that was hurting his head, he looked at the car properly – as properly as he could. An old beat up Ford. It looked familiar it did. He managed to move around to the front of it and check out the license plate. He knew that license plate. This was Bobby's Ford. But what was Bobby's Ford doing here…? He snapped his head up and looked through the busted windshield in complete horror. Once again he saw the blood on his little brother 's hair sticking to his little brother's forehead. Someone was about to lift his head.

'NO!' Dean screamed. 'Don't touch him!' he darted around to them and shoved them out of the way. 'You can't move him. Leave him alone.' He scanned his brain for what he knew about head injuries and remembered a little but was too freaked to know if any of it was right or not.

'I'm a nurse.' Interrupted a youngish woman who had been pushed back in Dean's panic. She looked at him with determined sympathy. 'It's okay, let me help.'

'You know what to do?' he asked her feeling tears slide down his face.

'I know what to do until help arrives. Okay?'

He nodded but was definitely going to keep a close eye on her and every move she made. 'Is he going to be okay?' he asked her as she reeled off instructions to people about checking his airway, applying some sort of pressure to the head wound -but not too much - and keeping his head in line with his spine in case of any spinal injury. Oh God, were they doing everything right? It sounded like one simple move could cause irreparable damage. 'Is he going to be okay?' he repeated but no one would answer him and then because he had finally come to the realization that this _was_ his brother hurt in the car that he had wiped off the road, he felt sick and he felt dizzy and he felt tingly and then all he could see was blackness and all he could feel as he fell was the cold hard concrete crash under him.

He was only out for a few minutes but when he came to, he cursed himself for not concentrating on what they were doing to Sam. Some other girl was sitting with him on the gutter, her arm around his shoulder. 'You okay?' she asked him. 'You fainted.'

'That's my brother.' He said as he stood up too quick. A man rushed over to him and caught him just as he was falling again. 'You have to sit down.' He said as Dean pulled himself back from the darkness.

'Is he okay?" was all Dean said while trying to stand again so he could just get to Sam. Why wouldn't they let him get to Sam?

'Help is on its way.'

'Is he okay though!' he yelled at everyone. Someone- anyone needed to answer him.

'He's falling in and out of consciousness.' The nurse turned to him and said, 'But he has said a few words so that is a good thing. Are you Dean?'

'Yes.' Dean exclaimed.

'He's asking for you.'

'Oh thank God.' He shook his arm out of the man's grip and walked over to just behind the nurse who had turned her attention back to Sam.

'Sammy.' He said to him feeling a lot more sober in his shock. 'Sammy, can you hear me?'

'His name is Sammy?' The nurse asked.

'Sam.' Dean swallowed not taking his eyes of his brother. He looked like he was sleeping and even though there was blood on his shirt, it looked like he had stopped bleeding through the bandage that someone was holding on his head.

'Sam?' The nurse tried. Nothing.

'Sammy.' Dean said again as he moved in front of her, knelt on the cool damp grass and placed his hand on his brother's knee.

'Dean?' Sam tried to open his eyes when he thought he heard his brother's voice but he was so tired. All he wanted to do was sleep.

Dean smiled and cried at the same time. 'Sam, look at me. Open your eyes buddy. Look at me.'

Sam tried, he really tried but the blackness seemed so comforting, it was too hard to fight so he decided to give into it once more.

'Sam. I said look at me so look at me.' Dean said with an aggressive tone. The nurse was about to protest until she noticed Sam force his eyes open. 'You okay? How're you feeling?'

'Just wanna sleep.'

'No, you can't. Listen to me. Help is on its way and you have to tell them how you're feeling okay? Buddy, stay with me. Sam! Dammit!'

'You can't go getting angry.' Said the nurse. 'You have to stay calm for him.'

'Yeah, I know. Okay. I will.'

'Aren't you the guy that hit him?' asked a confused twenty-something year old guy from the sidelines.

'He's my brother.' Was all Dean managed to say.

'You hit your brother?'

'Not intentionally you idiot.'

'Dude you were on the wrong side of the road.'

'Dude, get out of my life.' He retorted before hearing Sam's phone burst to life on the seat beside him. There was no way he could reach over Sam without moving him. 'Can someone get that for me?' he said to the crowd on the other side of the car. God, there had to be thirty or forty people there. Didn't they have something else to do, somewhere else to be?

'It's Bobby?' some girl said as she moved around the car and handed the phone to Dean. He ran a shaking hand through his hair and took a deep breath willing his swirling brain to work.

'Bobby.' Dean stated.

'Dean? What the hell is going on?'

'There's been an accident. It's Sam-'


	20. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Bobby found Dean sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up against his chest in a hallway of the hospital. He was pointed in his direction by a doctor who had told Dean to move a number of times. Sam was in the room behind him - Dean told said doctor in no uncertain terms he wasn't going anywhere.

'Dean!' Bobby called out as he rushed over to him.'Tell me he's alright.'

Tightening the grip around his legs, Dean looked up to the older man and spoke the words that were still haunting him. 'He's alright. They're saying he's alright but he was bleeding and out of it and on the ride over here he wouldn't wake up. I kept trying to wake him up and he just wouldn't.'

'What the hell happened?'

'It was my fault.'

'What happened?'

'I didn't even see him.'

'Dean, tell me what happened!'

'I drove right into him. He didn't have a chance.'

'You…you drove?' Bobby's heart dropped to his feet. 'Dean you had been drinking!'

'I know!' Dean almost yelled as he met Bobby's eyes. 'What was he doing there? He was supposed to be at home!'

'So were you!'

Dean buried his face in his knees.

'Where is he?'

'In there.' Bobby could only just make out his mumble. 'They won't let me in. They're doing tests.'

'God. Of all the stupid, idiotic ideas.' Bobby complained to himself more than to Dean.

'What?' Dean's head shot up in confusion.

Instead of answering, Bobby shook his head and glared at his oldest surrogate son. 'You could have killed him Dean!'

'You don't think I know that? I know that!'

'And yourself. You could have killed your brother and yourself! What the hell were you thinking?'

'I wasn't thinking was I?'

'No you were too drunk to think!'

Dean shut his eyes as hard as he could. He wanted out of this freaking nightmare. He knew one thing for sure; he couldn't take this. Hurting his brother the way he did. He just could not take it.

He stood up and swallowed, unable to look at Bobby's furious and worried eyes. He had no intention of leaving this spot so leant his head against the wall and looked up to the ceiling. His tears were obscuring his vision anyway. All he could see was a white blur. It made him think of the blue blur he saw before he smashed right on into it with his brother inside and suddenly found it even harder to breathe.

'I'm going to find a doctor who knows somethin' about somethin'.' Bobby said holding himself back from slapping Dean hard across the face. 'See if we can get some answers.'

Finding himself alone once again, Dean took a huge breath in to try to relax but it did nothing. He almost laughed; the shaking that was taking him over earlier that day when he was craving his fucked up beers was nothing compared to the shaking that was taking him over now. Nothing. And there wasn't a God dammed thing he could do about it. Not that he deserved it; he deserved to suffer, he wanted to suffer. If his brother was suffering then he wanted to suffer more.

'Cas. Please?' He begged in a whisper needing him to pop out of nowhere and heal his brother. 'I'll never ask you for anything again. Just do this. Fix him, please.'

No answer, no response and no Cas. He banged his head back hard against the wall in frustration and when he felt the pain, did it again only harder.

Suddenly the door next to him opened and a doctor stepped out of the room. Dean caught the quick sight of Sam lying on the bed before the door was closed on him again. 'Is he okay? What's the deal?'

The doctor frowned at him. 'You are?'

'His brother.'

'Whose brother?' He tested.

'Sam's brother. I'm Dean. Dean Winchester.'

'Agh. Okay. Have you been checked over?'

'I'm fine. How is he?'

'He's good. He'll be fine, but we are keeping him in overnight to monitor his concussion. He took a fair hit to the head on the steering wheel and it looks like he has some badly bruised ribs from the seatbelt and the impact, but none are broken. He was very lucky.'

'Not lucky enough.' Dean grumbled. 'Can I go in?'

'You can give it a try. He was complaining of a severe headache. I've given him some strong painkillers but until they take affect he may want to be alone... I'd recommend you getting checked out as well. Accidents can cause some hidden -'

'I'm fine.' Dean nodded a thanks to the doctor and opened the door to his brother's room. Sam didn't open his eyes, his head was too sore to deal with this right now and he cursed himself for not telling the doctor he didn't want any visitors...except for Bobby.

Dean swallowed the monumental ball of pain and regret that was choking him and pulled a chair out of the corner of the room. He sat down next to his brother's bed and tried his hardest not to look at the large adhesive bandage stuck on his forehead. Thank God his hair was covering most of it. There was bruising poking through though, deep and dark bruising that he could not help but notice...no matter how hard he tried.

'Sammy, I am so sorry,' he apologized wishing it was him injured in that hospital bed instead of his younger brother. He would swap places in a second.

'Are you okay?' Sam mumbled as he opened his eyes and checked Dean over. Even doing that hurt and the lights were so bright. All he could really take in was that Dean's eyes were all bloodshot and wet. The rest of him seemed okay though, that was the main thing.

'Yeah. I'm fine.'

Sam turned his head away and faced the other side of the room. He had to know for certain that Dean wasn't hurt and now that he had, he had no intention of letting him off the hook. He wanted to. He wanted nothing more than to accept his apology and move on, but all he could think about, all that would run through his thumping mind was how his brother - or some innocent could have been killed out there. He may have helped this accident along by simply coming up with a no-win plan and by being there seeking Dean out, but what it had all come down to was Dean was driving drunk and that was something that could never happen again. He had to understand that. They were out of miracle cures, that was obvious. Being human was fragile and Dean had to start treating himself with care.

'I know you're pissed at me and I don't blame you.' Dean said to his brother's profile. 'But I promise you, I swear to you Sam that I am done drinking. Never again. I mean it.' When Sam didn't reply, Dean continued; 'Sammy, you know this is the worst thing that could have happened to me-'

'No, the worst thing that could have happened to you is that you could have been killed - or you could have killed someone.' Sam said now able to look him in the eyes for the sole reason of telling him off.

'You're right. I could have killed you. I nearly did.' Dean choked back a sob. Sam noticed and wanted to shake his head. Did Dean have a filter when it came to Sam? How could he always manage to sift through the thought process of hurting himself - or others and make it all about Sam?

'You could have killed yourself.'

'I don't car-' Dean stopped himself, knowing that was definitely not the right thing for Sam to hear. He didn't really think he meant it anyway. What he did mean to say was that it was Sam lying in that hospital bed hurt and it was Sam that Dean could have killed in this instance. And that wasn't something he could live with. That was the worst thing that could have happened to him and it very nearly did. It wasn't that Dean didn't care if he hurt himself or anyone else; it was just that he wouldn't care as much.

'Don't say that.' Sam frowned before feeling a wave of nausea wash over him. Dean picked it up on his face as it flushed and paled at the same time.

'You okay?'

Sam could only groan, he was going to throw up, he was sure of it but he knew if he did his head was likely to explode and his ribs were likely to break.

'Just, calm down. Here-' Dean handed him a plastic cup of water. 'Sip it.'

Sam did so forcing himself to relax. No way did he want to deal with any more pain.

'You okay?'

'Can you leave? I want to be alone.' Sam said managing to somehow get it under control even though it felt temporary.

'I'm not leaving you alone. Not when you're like this.'

'Then call Bobby in. I'm sure he's here right?' It was coming back. Deep breaths hurt and he could see the effect his wincing was having on his brother but if it stopped him from vomiting, he was going to do it.

'He's here. I'll get him.' Dean said as he stood up and willed himself not to fall to pieces. 'You take it easy Sammy okay?'

Silence.

Dean nodded and bit the corner of his bottom lip, turned and stepped out of the door. He didn't know it, but Sam was feeling as sad as he was.

'Now if that aint the second stupidest idea you've ever had.' Bobby greeted with a smile after he entered the room and took Dean's seat. Sam had half expected to see Dean trailing in behind him and found himself a little disappointed that he didn't.

'Where is he?'

'Parked in the corridor feeling sorry for himself. How are you doing?'

'M'okay.'

'Boy, if this doesn't give him a first class wake up call, nothin' will.'

'So are you saying my idea was genius as well as stupid?' Sam managed a smile, finally able to feel more relaxed now that Bobby was in the room with him and Dean wasn't.

'No, just stupid.' Bobby stood and leant over so he could lift Sam's hair out of the way to check on the bruising. 'You shouldn't have chased him. What were you going to do when you found him?'

'Get him to pull over.'

'Get a drunk to pull over? How?'

'Somehow.'

'Stupid idea.' Bobby repeated.

'What if it works though?'

'Still a stupid idea...with a pinch of genius.' He sat back down and took the younger Winchester in. 'He said you were feeling queasy. You gotta relax kid. Try not to stress out.'

'I am. That's why I kicked him out.'

'Good, whatever works. What did they say about sleeping? Are you allowed to?'

'Yeah.'

'You tired?'

'Yeah but they're moving me to a room upstairs in a bit.'

'Get some sleep until they do. I'll be here.'

While Sam happily obliged and closed his eyes, Bobby sat back in the hard, vinyl chair in an attempt to make himself more comfortable. He was settling in, already positive that his other boy wouldn't move from the hallway. So when he was sure Sam had fallen asleep, he himself began to relax and then, one by one, he started to count his blessings. Just as he had reached number six, he heard strong voices directly outside the room. After a quick check on Sam, he stood up quietly and padded over to the door. The very second he opened it, he froze.

Dean looked at him helplessly as one of the two policemen clinked the handcuffs on his wrists behind him.

'Stay with him.' Dean pleaded. 'Bobby watch him okay?'

'You know I will. I'll call my lawyer. You don't say nothin' until he gets there, you hear me?'

Dean nodded and gave a resigned and hopeless kind of half smile. The kid was done in. Completely and utterly done in. 'You look after yourself Dean. You promise me.' Bobby called after him.

When Dean didn't answer and the policemen led him around the corner out of sight, Bobby let himself slump back on the doorway in between his two broken boys and felt his own mind and stomach swirl. This was not good. This was not good at all.

Monsters and ghosts they could fight and beat. The law...the law was a completely different story.


	21. Beer and Other Bruises Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Sam had come up with his own answer. He could admit there for awhile that he had been disappointed and confused. He had expected his brother to burst into his room at first light and be fussing all over him before he could even say 'Hello'. When he hadn't and the doctor had finally released Sam from the hospital he at least expected Dean to be waiting in the hallway – or at the car – or even at Bobby's place.

But Dean was nowhere to be seen and Bobby didn't seem too shocked by this.

So Sam came up with his own answer. Dean was pissed at him. Well and truly pissed at him. Bobby had told Dean of Sam's ridiculous and reckless plan and now that he had gotten hurt and the Impala was all banged up again, Dean was pissed at him.

Great!

As if they needed that.

Sure, Sam was willing to take a lot of the blame; it was his fault this happened afterall, but Dean still got into that car and he still drove drunk so he had no intention of taking it all on. Not completely, no way. And he didn't want to argue about it. All he wanted to do was get comfortable, watch some TV with his brother and talk this out. Not fight.

But, Sam figured, you can't really fight if there is no one to fight with and maybe that was Dean's idea – or maybe he was just too furious to even be around Sam. Either way Sam had to know, it was time to know.

'Where's Dean?'

'Sit down.' Bobby said motioning him to the couch where he had a cushion ready for Sam's back. Sam wanted to tell him he wasn't a kid but his question, he felt, was more of a priority, so he did as he was told and waited.

Nothing.

'Is he out getting the Impala?'

'No Jack is dealing with that.'

'Okay, so…where is he?'

Bobby took a seat on the other side and looked at him with a weird expression, an expression Sam couldn't read. He then took a deep breath and sat forward. 'Okay, look. I'm going to tell you something but you have to promise me you aren't going to freak out. You have to stay calm Sam. Okay?'

Sam frowned. 'What's going on?'

'The police took Dean away last night.'

'What?' As soon as Bobby saw all color drain from Sam's face, he prepared himself. Sam wasn't going to take this well, probably both mentally and physically.

'You have to take it easy Sam. Don't go getting all stressed. He is with Tom Collins right now.'

'Who the hell is Tom Collins?'

'My lawyer.'

'Oh my God.' Sam ran a hand through his hair. 'Oh my God Bobby.'

'He's a damn good lawyer too he is. Your brother is in good hands.'

Have they charged him?'

'Yes, they have.'

Sam felt like he was going to pass out. This was entirely his fault, all of it. Not only had he done exactly what he had yelled the hell through Bobby for doing, but he had just sat by and watched it happen. He had let his brother drink and done nothing to stop it. Absolutely nothing. Then…when Dean had taken off in that car, he had burned after him like a mad man. The guy had no hope.

'What have I done?' He turned further towards Bobby. 'What the hell have I done to my brother?'

'It'll do you and him no good blaming yourself Sam.'

'Why are we here?' Sam stood up. 'We should be there. Take me there.'

'You are not fit to go traipsing around-'

'Screw me Bobby. Dean is in – Oh my God.' He sat back down on the arm and rubbed his eyes when he pictured where Dean actually was. 'I can't believe this. I cannot believe it.'

'I'm waiting on the call from Tom to see if Dean made bail.'

'And if he doesn't?'

'Tom thinks he will.'

'But if he doesn't?'

'Then he'll –'

'No, don't say it. Please.' He could not hear that Dean would go to jail. There was no way he could hear those words. 'Can we go and see him please?'

'I think we should stay here. There's nothing we can do for him there.'

'We can be there with him, for him.'

'If you weren't sick Sam, maybe, but Dean wouldn't want you out and about worrying about him.'

'I'm going whether you take me or not. You coming or what?'

'Of course I am. But if your brother kicks my ass for taking you, it's on your head.'

'All of this is on my head.'

oOoOoOo

'Bobby!' Tom Collins smiled as he stepped up to his long time friend and shook his hand. He was way too cheerful for Sam's liking but instead of letting it worry him, Sam looked past him and past the policeman at their desks into the hallway that was too dark to see down.

'Your brother is in a cell. I'll see if he can have visitors.'

'Thanks.' Sam said but then put his hand on the man's arm. 'We need him out of here.'

'I'm doing my best.'

'Chances?'

'Good. For now. I am pretty sure he will make bail, but he has been charged and because he was involved in an accident and someone was hurt, he might have to do some jail time.'

'Oh God.' Sam sighed and looked at Bobby for some kind of reassurance. As much as the older man wanted to give it to him, he knew he couldn't so instead gave a supportive smile. That did nothing for Sam's concern and he found himself feeling faint all over again.

Less than three minutes later, Tom came back with the not so great news. The cops had no intention of letting Sam visit Dean. Fact was that Sam was the other driver of the other car and Sam was the accused's brother and Sam had been hurt. So putting all those things together, fact was until Sam had made his own statement; Dean was sitting in that cell alone.

Fact was Sam wanted to rip their heads off one by one and throw them out the window.

But he refrained and obliged to make the police happy so that they could all have a better chance of getting the hell out of there and quick. Besides, he was looking forward to leaving out little tidbits that the police didn't need to know about. Anything to help Dean…anything.

oOoOoOo

'Okay Winchester. Time to go.'

A whoosh of relief poured over Dean that almost knocked him out. He was free to go and that meant one thing and one thing only; he could finally know if Sam was okay and out of hospital.

He silently prayed that he would walk out into the station and see his brother standing alongside Bobby and Bobby's lawyer friend; Tom something-or-other and know that even though Sam still had every right and reason to be pissed at him, he was doing okay.

And he wasn't disappointed.

The first person Dean laid eyes on was Sam. He couldn't help but smile. Not only did Sam appear to be fine but his brother was actually there. Even though he was hurt and pissed off at him, he was still there to literally bail him out.

And so was Bobby – the man who looked like he wanted to kill him last night for hurting the kid who he counted as his son, but nevertheless he was there as well, also bailing him out.

His family was awesome.

They meant everything to him.

And he had hurt one of them.

His face dropped and he could see the confused expression as his brother noticed. Stupid kid. He never got it. He never would. He kept wanting Dean to fight it, fight who he was and what he was. It would never happen, he had tried and tried really hard, but how can you change who you are? You couldn't and as soon as everyone, and especially Sam realized, the better.

The relief Sam had felt when he had seen Dean walking towards them and then smile was extreme. So when it had suddenly disappeared, it scared him. He didn't understand why. Dean was leaving his confinement; surely he could smile about that. The only thing he could come up with was that maybe Dean thought Sam was still angry at him. Or worse - oh no - maybe, somehow, he had heard about Sam's idiotic plan, maybe Bobby had told him…Yes, that would definitely get him majorly pissed off. As a result, Dean had been locked up, Sam had been hurt and the Impala was all banged up again. It was definitely that.

'I'm sorry.' They both said in unison as they stepped up to each other.

Frowning, Dean asked, 'For what?'

Okay so Sam was wrong and once again, his relief overpowered him and his guilt was pushed further back. 'Nothing, let's get out of here.'

Dean nodded. 'You don't have to say it twice.'

oOoOoOo

'So what's the deal?' Sam asked him when they both sat down on the couch at Bobby's and the older man had made himself scarce outside.

'Well, looks like you will be driving for the next few months Sammy.' He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. Sam guessed it was a fine. 'And we have to come up with a thousand dollars and I get to go to court where they will probably sentence me.' When Dean saw Sam flinch, he added, 'It's my first offence. Tom said that will come into it, but it could be anywhere up to a year.'

'A year?'

'I deserve it, you know it.'

'It was my fault too.' Sam thought it best to come clean and after Dean's question of 'How do you figure that?' explained the whole sorry deal to him and then braced himself for his brother's reaction.

'We're a pair of idiots.' Was all Dean said.

When Sam gave him a look of complete disbelief, Dean continued; 'Dude, this isn't your fault. I get why you did what you did even if it was a dumbass thing to do. We both screwed up but you didn't force the alcohol down my throat, just like Bobby didn't when I found his whiskey. There was no stopping me. I was going to get those drinks and there was not a damn thing you could have done about it.'

'There was something. Something you did to me.' Sam said looking down at the tear on the knee of his jeans. 'But I was too busy trying to save you from it that I did something worse and something worse happened.'

'The panic room?'

Sam nodded feeling his stomach knot and twist and turn, just as if a knife was stabbing him right in the guts over and over again.

'Yeah, well, sounds like we've both been thinking the same thing.' Dean took a deep breath in and waited for Sam to look into his eyes. 'That's what we gotta do. That's what I want you to do. '

Sam couldn't bring himself to agree even though he wanted to. That room may work but it was a frickin torture chamber.

'Dude, my time won't be as bad as yours. You gotta remember that Sam.' Dean appreciated his brother's hesitation for what it was. Sam didn't want him in pain. Again, he knew that feeling and also knew what being on the other side of that door felt like. He was asking Sam to stand there and go through exactly what he had. It was going to suck huge time for the both of them but they didn't have a choice and after last night, at least they were home – not in a hospital room and not in jail. But home.

'In two days we do it okay?' Dean stated.

Sam nodded and took a deep breath in. It was the only way. Nothing else was going to work. Dean was asking for this, he had gotten his wake up call and now he needed the physical assistance to overcome the physical side of it properly. He just hoped Dean was right; he was dealing with alcohol and not anything demonic. Hopefully that would make it different because if it didn't, Sam didn't know how he could keep that door locked.

The mere thought made him shiver but instead of changing his mind, he looked up at his brother and said. 'Okay.'

'Good man.' Dean was determined; he had the mental willpower down now, he knew it. The night they had just experienced was unbearable. Beating the alcohol would be easy if it meant he didn't have to go through anything like that again. Sam was right, the life they led, the job they were in – even driving a damn car, it was too dangerous under the influence. He had made his brother quit his addiction and now it was his turn and nothing – nothing would have been a better kick in the ass to do so than this.

Sam had been hurt but he was okay. Dean had been given a second chance with that and he was going to take it with two strong hands. This was it. He knew he would never be able to look at alcohol the same way again. What could have been….and what nearly was... and all because of a few too many beers. No, it wasn't worth it, it never had been.

Once he was through the physical withdrawals he knew for sure he would be on the other side and there was not a single doubt in his mind that he would get there. Not a single doubt that he would ever go back. He was better than that, and even though he hadn't believed that before, he believed it now. He didn't belong in some jail, he wasn't a no hoper. He made a life out of helping people and even though he sometimes made mistakes and felt lesser than he thought anyone ever could, no matter what, his brother and his surrogate father wanted him around...and that had to mean something.

He looked at his brother and smiled. Sam smiled back seeing the determination and promise on his face. Sam would never admit it but right then, even though he was still in a bit of pain and he felt as guilty as hell for even trying his plan, it had worked and so he couldn't say for sure that he didn't regret it. It was a shame it was brought to this, a shame about the Impala and the injuries and any other repercussions that were going to arise from it, but overall, in the end, if it meant his brother could beat his addiction and come out better and safer for it, then as much as Sam hated the thought, he knew he would have happily done it over again. Hitting rock bottom was never easy but the great thing about being so low was that the only way was up and that's where his brother was headed. At last.

And if not, if something else happened or stood in the way of Dean's recovery then Sam had already decided. Screw it…..he was going to hunt that damn angel down!

_Short Epilogue to follow. _


	22. Beer and Other Bruises Epilogue

**Epilogue**

'Oh you have a nerve. You turn up now?' Bobby scowled at the angel who appeared before him without any warning.

'You have to be quiet. Where's Sam and Dean?' Castiel whispered checking behind him.

Bobby threw down his book on this desk and sat back, unimpressed. 'Well Dean is downstairs doing it tough locked inside the panic room and Sam has set up camp outside his door and refuses to move.'

'Good.'

'Good?' How is that good? Where were you when they needed you?'

'I was here. I was watching.'

'You mean to tell me-'

'They had to go through this.' Cas interrupted. 'They were both falling back into their old habits, you yourself even thought that. Dean with his drinking, Sam with his anger, both of them drifting apart all over again. They had to pull themselves together and pull each other up and out of it. Otherwise they couldn't do their job properly and-'

'And that's all that matters to you right?'

'And they would have been killed. On the job, both of them. For good.' Cas informed simply.

Bobby swallowed and peered at the angel. 'You know that for sure?'

'Yes. I know that for sure.'

'Why are you telling me this?'

'Because someone has to know.'

'Know what?'

'Know that from now on there aren't any more quick fixes. They have to do it on their own, just like they used to.'

'I think they got that.'

'No, you don't understand what I mean. Dean isn't going to jail but he can't know that just yet. Either can Sam. They both have to think it is possible and likely, just like any other person.'

'But they aren't like any other person Cas. You of all people know that. Everything they have been through and what they are still going through don't happen to other people.'

'Yes I know that-'

So the normal rules shouldn't apply to them.'

'The normal rules have to apply to them. That's what I need you to understand. Dean's record has been wiped but this is the last time. They must learn from their mistakes, both of them. It's the only way.'

Bobby stood up and stepped over to him. 'So no more favors, okay I get it. It's not like they deserve them is it? It's not like they did your job, helped you, saved the world and suffered for it is it?' He shook his head and gave Castiel the most evil glare he could muster.

'If I had've intervened sooner, you think Dean would be in that panic room right now?'

He had Bobby there. Most likely Dean would have been out somewhere drinking while Sam would be out somewhere fretting.

'I didn't like watching it any more than you did.' Cas said genuinely. 'You don't think I wanted to jump in at every turn? But I couldn't because it would only weaken them further. You'll see. When this is over and Dean beats this - and he will beat this - you will see how ready they are.'

'Ready for what?' Bobby frowned. 'And if I were you, I wouldn't suggest anything to do with the devil, angels- or saving the world.'

Castiel held Bobby's gaze. He was so much stronger than before, so much more sure of himself. Bobby kind of liked him better when he had his human elements about him, some kind of raw emotion. This one seemed so cold and rigid.

Castiel breathed out and replied; 'Ready for their fair share of happiness.'

Bobby blinked and took a step back, suddenly overwhelmed. 'You swear?'

Giving a warm smile, filled with genuine emotion, Cas nodded with promise.

xxx

'Sammy?' Dean checked yet again from inside the cold, hard and grey walls.

'I'm here.' Sam called through the locked door as he leant his head back on his side of the cold, hard and grey wall.

'You're always here. You never leave.'

'I'm not going anywhere.'

Dean smiled even though he felt like tearing out his hair. 'Thanks…Bitch.'

Sam smiled too, his dimples bursting to life for the first time in a long time. 'Anytime… Jerk.'

**THE END. **

_Thank you so much for all that read this story from start to finish and for those that reviewed. I know it went for a long time and I appreciate you all so much for continuing to read. :-) And after all that, we all needed a happy ending right? I hope so! _


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